In real life, law rarely forgives any wrong act. In most of the countries law is clear about punishment. We still hear a lot about forgiving in personal relationships. We are told to forgive the major blunders. We are asked to forgive and forget and continue living as if nothing happened. Does that work? To some extent yes, and to some extent no.



Most of us who have been hurt in relationship do not wish to forgive at all. The result is that we suffer from the pain all our life. We are advised to forgive so that at least we can feel peaceful. If we do not forgive, our own peace is lost forever and we suffer. Forgiveness is for us. To forgive does not always mean that the abuser can continue with the same behavior. You need not tell the abuser that you have forgiven him/her. Let them suffer for what they did. But by forgiving in your own mind, you get peace.

Relationship after forgiving - the relationship can never continue at the same level and intensity after any mistake has been made. No amount of forgiveness can ever bring the relation back.

Bringing relationship back - I have said earlier that no relationship will return to the same old level after a major mistake has been committed. This is true. But what if the partners want to bring it back to the old level? How should they proceed? In this case, the abuser should ask for forgiveness again and again. Only after the victim is satisfied, the forgiveness can become effective to the extent that relationship comes back to normal.