Of course, you cannot forget about the past or you would not even be able to read this, or use any other learned skill or information. The key is to use the past to live a better present and not be ruled by it. Past learnings and pleasant memories only enhance the present. What needs to be forgotten or handled and let go are those past events that hold you back. The past is best used as a vehicle to move us forward, and not as an anchor that keeps us eternally stuck.



You cannot change what happened – it is dead and gone. Ruminating on what should have happened, or what you should have done has no value. This energy drain only detracts from your ability to live fully in the only time you really have – the present. The following tips can be used to put the past to rest, or to gain wisdom from it to enhance your present life.

1.Finish any unfinished business. This may involve no more than a belated farewell, a letter or a call to someone, or completion of a project. It may involve the inner relinquishment of someone that outwardly you left behind years ago, or some old image of yourself, or some outlived dream or belief. Completing a project that is no longer meaningful to you may not mean actually finishing it, rather you can decide to let it go in its incomplete state and be OK with that. Declaring things finished, frees all the mental, emotional, and physical energy you have been using to hold onto these things.

2.Re-examine and take positive action. Look at the past situation from the vantage point of the present. How did you grow because of the experience? Was there a hidden gift in going through it? What did you learn as a result of the situation? For example, if the problem was a business failure, you might begin by listing all the lessons you learned from that experience. You will probably become aware of many new and valuable insights that you can use in your present business situation. All experience teaches us. It leaves us in a better position – wiser, more caring, more humble, more open – if only we learn from it. This recognition is essential before you can be completely finished with the past.

3.Resolve incidents when you have hurt others. Recognize and admit to yourself what you did. Admit it to one other person, the offended party if possible, and offer to make it “right". If you cannot admit it to the offended party, just telling another person will make you accountable. When you are ready to take responsibility for the impact of your actions upon others, acknowledge that you were wrong, and are willing to do something about it you can get closure. Sometimes there is something you can do to make it “right". More often, your admission and offer will be enough. When this is done, move on. Resolve to go forward and stop looking back on this incident.

4.When you were the offended one, grieve, and let go. It does not matter what happened to you, or who did it to you. The only thing that matters is what you do about it. When someone does something bad to you, it is once. If you dwell on it, in your mind you do it to yourself repeatedly. Actively repair the damage that was caused to you. For example, if something of yours was taken, replace it with an item just as good or better. If you were emotionally hurt, give yourself the support that you wanted from the other person. Ask trusted friends or a professional to supply you with the emotional support you did not get.

When you let go of past hurts, failures, mistakes, etc. a vast field of possibilities will open up for you. You will be free to respond to present situations in new ways without falling back on programmed reactions. You will also be free from having draining emotional reactions when looking back on past experiences. It is difficult to let go of the past and it is essential to do so. Otherwise, “old tapes" will drain your energy and keep you from moving forward.

Quotes:

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present." Jan Glidewell

“Let us learn from the past to profit by the present." William Wordsworth

“Heal the past, live the present, dream the future." Unknown