You've accepted his proposal & set the date, but now comes the hard work ? the wedding planning stage. Whilst you're bobbing around on a cloud of euphoria it may have escaped just how much work you will have to do to get your wedding up & running. It's time to take a reality check ? you have a thousand & one things to do before the big day!

Time for some research, you need to find venues, caterers, florists & bridal boutiques, photographers, cars & a cake designer. But you maybe left wondering why you are doing all the hard work with the wedding planning, whilst he just nods in agreement at every suggestion you make & whilst you pour over the suit hire brochure from cover to cover & back again, he simply points to the first suit on page 1 & reaches for the credit card. Truth is the majority of men just aren't interested in the color of the bridesmaid dresses or whether the flowers are roses or lilies, their only real concern is that you turn up on the day & say ?I do? (oh that & the great time he's going to have with his friends on his bachelor party!). He may be the greatest finance on the planet, but chances he just isn't that hands on when it comes to wedding preparations.

Unfortunately for you, wedding planning just isn't a job for one person to do alone. It is possible to do it all yourself, but you will probably burnout with stress & worry before you have even sent the invitations. So you really need him on your side & helping out. Here are ten ways to get him involved & keep your stress levels to a minimum.

1) Delegate areas that have a prayer of interesting him.

Bless him, he probably won't understand the whole point of color schemes & matching every little detail together, or why you should have fondant icing over buttercream. So the following should be no go areas for him when it comes to the wedding planning:

?Selecting the cake frosting

?Choosing the favors or favor packaging

?Selecting the wedding colors or floral arrangements

These, however, are possible tasks he could manage, with some guidance from you:

?Choosing the photographer

?Choosing the videographer

?Arranging the rehearsal dinner

?Arranging the all-inclusive honeymoon

?Renting big, tricky items like outdoor tents

And, these are all tasks he can accomplish without your assistance:

?Selecting the DJ or the band

?Setting up & maintaining your wedding website

?Researching & selecting charities, if you choose to donate instead of giving out favors

?Setting up the carriage, limousine or other transportation arrangements

2) If you ask him to help you choose vendors & styles, narrow down the choices first.

I know you will want his opinion on many aspects of the wedding day details, the range of options & choices out there would make even the most organized of brides think twice. But it is important not to go crazy & bombard him with questions about colors, flowers, cakes, photographers etc all in one go. You will probably end up overwhelming him & he'll just agree to anything to get out of it. Limit the options you present him with to just three or four, that way he is more likely to make choices based on personal taste & feel like an important part of the planning process.

If you are feeling bogged down with decisions about buttercream vs. fondant or the merits of lilac over pink, take a deep breath & think logically about whom close to you are probably the best person to ask on such matters.

3) Ask him directly for help. Let him know how important his input is to you, & that you can't do it without him.

Plead to his better nature & tell him you need his help. It may be enough to make him realize that to organize this wedding you need his input too.

4) Try the Art Director/Production Staff approach.

Basically this means taking from the role or ?art director? & making him a part of the ?production staff?. Give him the tasks that are easy but which will keep him involved & which don't require him to make any decisions. A lot of guys will want to help, but having to make decisions about flowers, cakes & decor is just not their scene. Collecting them though is!

5) Get a calendar and put all the planning in black and white.

Ok, to most men a wedding just involves turning up in church, saying yes, popping on the ring & then have a nice afterwards. They fail to see just how much organizing & detail will be needed to achieve all that.

A good way of letting them know is to hang a calendar on the kitchen wall & fill in all the important dates ? the wedding day (naturally), rehearsals, dress fittings, appointments with venues, officiants, florists, photographers etc. Collection dates for flowers & the cake, & due dates for payments ? which probably are the only bits he is concerned about.

Alternatively, show him your wedding planner & once he has ingested everything that needs to be done (give him a couple of days) then talk about sharing the tasks to be done & make sure he knows what he needs to do & when.

6) Weave his family heritage/ethnicity/traditions into the ceremony.

A good way to include him is to include something in the ceremony that relates to his family history, heritage or culture. Talk to his parents about things you could include in the ceremony that would have special meaning to him.

7) Don't bring him in too early.

Don't expect him to be eager to help from the moment you get engaged. You maybe aware that in 18 months you need to have everything ready, but he probably won't even think about it until it draws ever closer & he suddenly becomes aware of his impending nuptials (probably around the time the bachelor party is first mentioned).

8) Talk about something besides the wedding.

As important as it is, try not to talk about the wedding 24/7. It only makes you look like a bridezilla & totally obsessed with weddings. It is also important for your own sanity to switch off from dresses, shoes & bouquets every once in a while.

Make sure you spend time together where you talk about anything but weddings.

9) Check your subtext for hidden meanings.

If you ask for his opinion make sure your take it seriously & give it consideration. Don't just ask him in an effort to make him feel included, but then do what you want anyway. If you give him a task, let him get on with it & do it in his own way, without interference from you.

It is important for you to remember that he is probably feeling a bit in over his head with all this wedding ?stuff? & is worried that any ideas he does suggest will see him laughed out town. So make sure he knows that his opinions & thoughts are important to you.

10) Remember that men become wedding experts by having one.

My husband never really appreciated the amount of work that had gone into organizing our wedding, until the day after. Sure he had plenty of input & our wedding was a combination of both our personalities, but ever since he has compared friends weddings with our own in a way that would make you think he had organized a hundred weddings prior to that one.

Keep him involved from the very start & little by little you will see him start to participate in the whole wedding planning process with such gusto, that you wonder how you had gotten so far without him!