Listening/Hearing: You can listen to words, but you hear intentions. So frequently we listen without hearing. Everyone seeks to be heard, but few speak their truth eloquently enough so that people listen and they are truly heard. The eloquence of truth is to speak from the heart and allow the words to rise and flow from the mouth. When they are spoken from the head, they drop and fall from the mouth.
How many times have you been listening to your radio, stereo, television, or a conversation with another person and realized that you hadn't heard a single thing? Today we are overloaded with noise of every type and because we are overloaded, we simply don't listen. Or, if we listen, we certainly don't hear.
For those of us who live in cities, finding a quiet refuge away from the sounds and noises of civilization is something we seek but seldom experience. So off we go to the beach, the mountains, to a quiet resort for a relaxing time and what do we do? We take our noise with us on the ski slopes, out on the water, or sitting by the pool. Our noise blocks out not only the sounds of nature, but what others say as well. No wonder we have so many communication problems. No wonder we pay therapists fortunes just so we feel we can feel heard. (And even in therapy,are you really heard or does the therapist just listen for their agenda rather than truly hearing you?)
Why is speaking from the heart preferable to speaking from the head? In actuality, we need to combine both our hearts and our heads. We must use our head to be sound and logical, but wisdom comes from the heart. Without knowledge, without wisdom, without the combination, what we say will too often fall on deaf ears.
Challenge: Next time someone says something that touches your deepest being, notice whether it was merely spoken from the heart, spoken from the head, or did it integrate both parts of your being?
Friends/Enemies: Friends are those who always agree with us, who always support us, and who never think we are wrong (at least to our face). Enemies, on the other hand, will disagree with us, come clean to our face, and care less whether we like it or not.
Usually when salespeople launch their careers, they start by soliciting their family and friends. This may lead to temporary success, but it's certainly not enough to sustain a career. Furthermore, a faulty product or a bad sales experience can turn your friend into an enemy. A very successful salesperson recently summed up the entire issue quite accurately: "When you are in sales, you soon run out of friends, but you can never run out of strangers."
Are you suggesting that we should trust our enemies rather than relying on our friends?
Which person would you rather have with you on a deserted island? One who will give you little to think about, show you no passion, and give you little sense for living. This of course would be your friend. The other would instill within you a sense of purpose, challenge you to rise to your highest self, and would never be boring. So choose your friends carefully and embrace your enemies. One will inflict the wound and the other will lick the wound and you will never know which. If you were alone on a deserted island, would you be alone with your friend or your enemy?
Challenge: Are you up for a really challenging challenge? Take three days and spend them totally alone--no phones, no television, no computer, no family, and no friendly contact. How would you fill your three days? Where and how would you spend your time? How friendly is the friend inside you or is there an enemy you cannot face alone?
Friends And Enemies Quotes
If you actively Internet at home and in office and receive dozens of e-mail messages everyday then you almost surely have to use some facilities for automatic sorting of the incoming e-mail. For example, in Microsoft Outlook you can automatically sort incoming messages using Outlook Rules. Although the article is not about the advantages of automatic sorting we have to mention that gives you a number of benefits, at least you save your time and mental health ? you can always be sure that letters from your wife are in Honey folder while business letters never go to Fun . This article is about something that can actually take plenty of your time and health ? the mess, which is in one way or another caused by spam.
Spam Filters
Since you actively use e-mail you must receive much spam and since you are not happy about this* you must use some anti-spam software. Spam filters can be divided into two groups ? server filters and client ones. Server spam filters scan all the e-mail coming to the server and protect you from receiving spam. So the majority of spam doesn't simply reach your mailbox but if the server spam filter deletes an important e-mail then you do not just lose it - you will never know that it came. That is why more people prefer client spam filters. They scan the messages coming to your personal mailbox and direct spam to the special folder that you can always check. In this case junk messages reach your mailbox but they are stored in spam folder do not really bother you.
A Problem?
What can bother you is the conflict between the two nice features mentioned above ? Outlook Rules and your spam filter. Because of this conflict some of my friends even decided not to use spam filters and deal with the spam manually. The problem is - the spam filter doesn't "know" about Outlook Rules while Outlook Rules don't "know" about the spam filter. Separately these two features are nice and useful but when they work simultaneously you can get the feeling that they are specially designed to make your life harder. For example, you receive a filled questionnaire and Rules direct it to Inquirer but then the spam filter finds word "Sex" in it and an important letter goes to the spam folder. Another situation: the spam filter detects spam messages and directs them to the spam folder but then Outlook Rules sort these messages and send them to your work folders.
Surprise!
What is even more surprising in this conflict is when it happens within one program. Microsoft Outlook 2003 has a built in Junk filter but apparently this filter has absolutely no idea about Outlook Rules. We did some tests sending a hundred of spam letters to the mailbox with Outlook 2003. Spam filter and Outlook Rules were seizing each letter and as a result there were two letters ? one in Junk message folder and the other in a folder for Outlook Rules. Finally we received about 200 letters. So, this means that a built in spam filter is not a guarantee of faultless simultaneous work because very often different program blocks are designed by different teams and may be in different parts of the world.
Conclusion
How to avoid the conflict between the features and have sorted mail without spam? We see the following two ways:
* You can set the server spam filter to add the word "spam" to the subject field of a detected spam message instead of deleting it. Next step is to add a new Outlook Rule that directs messages with such a subject to the spam folder. Choosing the priority of the rule you can decide if you want it executed before or after other rules.
* You can install a client spam filter where you can organize the interaction between spam filtering and Outlook Rules. Fortunately there are some new spam filters with such a feature. For example, Spam Reader has full support of Outlook Rules and you can try to use it.
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* - If you are happy receiving spam then, please, drop me a line because I like to meat extraordinary people :)
Both Bernice Ross & Kate Romanova are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Bernice Ross has sinced written about articles on various topics from Parenting, self improvement and motivation. Bernice L. Ross, Ph.D., is a Nationally Syndicated Real Estate Columnist, Master Certified Coach and CEO of
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