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Funny Things Parents Say

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Lauren was jealous of Meagan and 'pouted' most of the time. Kayla wanted to play one thing, Laura another and Shelley just sat there in a daze.... Finally, after a number of 'time-out', I decided to pack all five of them in the car and took them to the movies.



And, I thank God for 'Shrek III' it truly saved my sanity and, actually, was a great movie.

Don't get me wrong, the girls are really good girls, but, like adults, have their own personalities. Similar to planning a party, some personalities mix better than others. Four strong personalities together for an entire day are bound to clash. Add to that an extremely shy, reserved personality and the result spells: d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r.

Two of the girls attend the same private school as my daughter. The other two attend public school but that is where their differences end. They all love Hannah Montanna, Spongebob, and roller-blading. They all come from good God-fearing homes, love each other dearly and, most importantly, are only seven-years old.

Yes, they are only children and need to be just that: children.

Delightful as they are, children need to be taught and guided. With love and affirmation there also needs to be boundaries, guidelines and, yes, sometimes punishment. Children need to understand that there are consequences with bad behavior. Children should not and cannot raise themselves. Children need adults who are willing to 'put in the time' to teach and guide them toward adulthood.

In the same breath, children should not be suppressed. Within every child is incredible uniqueness that deserves to be developed. It is unfair for adults to expect a child to develop into a clone of himself or herself. Children have their own personalities and we haven't a right to rob them of their individuality.

Yet we rob our children daily through the very thing that most of us are against: drugs.

Before I placed my daughter in a private school, about 60% of the children in her public school were diagnosed with either ADHD or ADD, including my daughter.

Within my daughter's first month of kindergarten, the school's psychologist had contacted me for an emergency meeting. What I learned within that meeting not only startled me but also frightened me. Due to the fact that my daughter has an extremely active and creative imagination, the psychologist felt it best that Laura begin weekly counseling as well as be put on Ritalin.

Huh? I thought my Laura was a pretty well adjusted child--actually a lot more intelligent than I was at her age and now they are telling me something is wrong with my baby? How can this be? What is the problem?

The 'problem', I soon discovered, was that my Laura's imagination was more advanced than the school felt was appropriate. Apparently, my daughter was asked to share a fictitious story with her class, which she did. The 'problem' began when her story included 'a trip to Paris where she and mommy were walking on a cobblestone street and met famous painters and poets and learned about their lives'. And that was the 'problem'?

Within one week I took my daughter out of that school and put her in the private school she presently attends. Ironically, everything has been fine and my daughter has remained on the honor roll. Furthermore, much to my satisfaction, Laura is affirmed for her imagination and creativity.

Sadly, however, I have spoken with many other mothers who have succumbed to the system and, unfortunately, their children have become zombies.

The school called one mother because her daughter is too shy, another because the child doesn't follow instructions well enough and another because the child misses 'mommy' too much. The list goes on but the result is always the same: put the child on drugs.

The eyes betray these children. Compare a child on Ritalin to that of one who is not and within the Ritalin child you will see emptiness and apathy. Shyness is not an excuse to put anyone on drugs and aggression should be handled with discipline yet we 'are not allowed'to discipline our children. We 'cannot punish' our children and more and more children are gaining the control over their parents. Why?

Because, unfortunately, some parents have given away their rights unknowingly.

I have recently read that Dr. Robert Spitzer, the psychiatrist who had identified ADD in the '70s and '80s, has admitted that many children are not ill at all and have been misdiagnosed.

Dr Spitzer, professor of psychiatry at Columbia University in New York, now says the classification led to many people being diagnosed as medically disordered when their mood swings and behavior were simply normal feelings of happiness and sadness. In a BBC2 documentary series 'he Trap', which airs this Sunday, Dr. Spitzer states that between 20 and 30 per cent of mental disorder diagnoses may be incorrect.

Huh? Is that right. Since his initial diagnosis, thousands upon thousands have been diagnosed with ADD, poor attention ability, and ADHD, the element of hyperactivity as early as five years of age. The drug most often prescribed to these children is Ritalin.

'By and large the treatments for these disorders don't have serious side effects,' Dr. Spitzer further explained. 'I mean, some do, [have serious side effects] but they're not that serious, whereas the failure to treat can often be very hard on the child and on the family.' He acknowledged that some parents put pressure on doctors to diagnose ADHD and obsessive-compulsive disorder, and prescribe drugs.

'We don't know to what extent that's been happening inappropriately,' he added.

Obviously, I am not a psychiatrist but I am a parent who knows that parenting is not an easy job. True is the clich that, unfortunately, 'there are no manuals for raising a child' but there is instinct and there is parental judgment.

Although mental illness is a reality for some, I believe that there is such a thing as becoming over-educated and that 'getting back to basics' is what our children really need. I believe that with less time in front of television and more communication and fresh air our children will benefit tremendously. I believe that parenting should happen within the homes and that academics should be taught in the schools. I believe that parents should regain their rights for the future of our children and the future of our society.
Funny Things Parents Say
What is in the child's best interest should always be a parent's top priority especially when considering divorce. The first thing you should know is our adversarial legal system is not child focused or family friendly. The emotional and financial price you pay when you each hire separate divorce lawyers is higher than you can now imagine. Remember when you had your child or children, your life changed from being focused on yourself to having them be your first priority.

Before I became a divorce attorney I was a special education teacher. My Masters is in Special Education, focusing on teaching severely emotionally disturbed children, so I came to the law with a powerful bias to act only in the best interest of the children. The 2nd important fact to know is how comfortable so many divorce lawyers are in spending their client's college fund instead of quickly and economically helping the couple to negotiate a fair deal. After 8 years of litigation and witnessing the total financial and emotional devastation of too many families I vowed to no longer take adversarial divorces and to do only divorce mediation. In the following 3 years, after working with over 150 couples with 100% success rate, I am convinced that divorce mediation should be the solution of first resort for 85% of the couples who are contemplating divorce. So the 3rd thing you need to know is there is an alternative to divorce court, mediation.

There is comfort in knowing what to expect when you already have answers to your basic questions. In the 8 community property states (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin) property division is pretty clear. What ever was totally owned prior to marriage or received by gift or inheritance is separate property that goes to the spouse who owns it. If it was partially paid for using wages or income earned during the marriage, the "community" gains an interest in it that can be calculated. Division of property in community property states is one of the easiest issues to deal with because it is so clear cut. So what happens in the other 42 states? These states use an equitable distribution system to divide marital property. Each state has its own rules that can be ascertained prior to starting the divorce process. So there is some uncertainty in non community property states but an experienced lawyer/mediator generally knows what the court will do in most situations and can be a valuable guide to couples who are unfamiliar with the laws. The 4th thing to keep in mind is that there is no point in fighting over property division. You can protect your co-parenting relationship and end up with more property if you divide everything the way a neutral 3rd party (mediator) suggests.

Child custody and visitation issues can be the most contentious and emotional issues In litigated divorce cases,. If the parents can agree to a custody arrangement, which they eventually do in 90% of custody cases, they can avoid court altogether. If a couple can just agree on custody and visitation issues, why would they set a case for trail and go through a nasty litigated case? Only 10% of custody cases are litigated. Instead of going to court a couple could always seek the services of a child therapist to advise them on contested issues. The courts typically apply a "best interest of the child" standard in determining who should get primary custody. Wouldn't the parents themselves be in the best position to decide how their children should be raised? When a couple works together in mediation they are in control of the final outcome, not lawyers or judges. When the couple has an intention to effectively co-parent by always keeping the best interest of the child foremost in their mind, they will produce a much more satisfying outcome than if a solution is imposed upon them from above. Child custody issues are the most inappropriate issues to be decided within an adversarial system. The win/lose game that is played in court always results in tension between the parents. Not only will this tension negatively affect the health and happiness of the parents but the children will be caught in the middle of a battle, ducking verbal and emotional bullets as they fly over their heads. The adversarial system does not protect the co-parenting relationship of parents and should be avoided if at all possible. An emotionally vulnerable client in the hands of a "zealous advocate" who is more concerned with enriching themselves than in helping their client is a dangerous combination. The last thing to keep in mind is that avoiding divorce attorneys and court should be the #1 priority if you want to protect your health, spirit, co-parenting relationship and pocketbook.
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About Author
Both Judi Lynn Lake & Belinda Rachman, Esq. are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Judi Lynn Lake has sinced written about articles on various topics from Education Toys, Health and Health. Judi Lynn Lake successfully runs her own advertising agency which handles everything from logos, branding, videos and websites while continues to work closely with self-published authors from design to promotion. To learn more visit. Judi Lynn Lake's top article generates over 6600 views. to your Favourites.

Belinda Rachman, Esq. has sinced written about articles on various topics from Entertainment Guide, Health and After Divorce. Ms. Rachman has been a family law attorney since 1996 and became so disheartened by our adversarial legal system she walked away from a successful law practice and now only works with couples doing mediation. For more information on how mediation works an. Belinda Rachman, Esq.'s top article generates over 8100 views. to your Favourites.
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The author of this article Menno Spijkstra is an Internet Marketing specialist who has been successful with several affiliate programs for many years.
 
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