…their only purpose is to get you to read the next line.



Or in the case of dating, the whole reason for creating great first date conversations is to get you that second date. Or at least to the stage where it's you (and not them) choosing if you want to go on a second date.

So how do you create great first date conversations that almost guarantee you a second date?

1. Practice

2. Great Questions

3. Know your goal

PRACTICE YOUR FIRST DATE CONVERSATIONS

Well, this applies to any of your dating conversations really. But it's most important on a first date conversation, because that's the one where you feel most of the pressure to ‘perform'.

Like any pressured situation, if you haven't practiced enough up front, you're more likely to crack under the strain! (Dating is a lot tougher than some would have you believe.)

So don't go searching around the net for 101 great questions to ask, 1001 witty conversational openers or 1.1 million things to say to your date to get them on a second date.

No. Just take 1 thing. And practice it. Until you master it.

Then take the next thing, and practice that. Until you master it.

They were right when they said practice makes perfect!

Being great at dating conversation is a skill. And the biggest reason most people fail to get good at it is because they get overwhelmed with all the things they need to do. So forget about mastering everything at once. Just pick one thing and practice it until it's entirely natural for you. Then move on to the next.

WHAT TO PRACTICE FIRST? GREAT QUESTIONS

Great questions are the foundation of all great dating conversations. If you master just a few great questions, then the rest of your conversation is likely to flow so much more smoothly.

Why? Because questions are how you steer any conversation. And a great question leads to a longer, more interesting, more fun conversation.

So what are some great questions to ask? Here are five. Remember, I don't want to overwhelm you with hundreds – because practicing one and mastering it is more important than having hundreds at your disposal.

So after your initial introduction and small talk, shift gears with these questions…

1. So tell me , what do you love to do in your spare time?

2. What is it about that that you love so much?

3. I was out today looking for a holiday to go on this year, but I'm really stumped on where to go. What's the best holiday you've been on?

4. Have you seen any great films recently?

5. What are your favourite TV programmes at the moment?

Remember, pick 1 and practice. You can practice these with friends, with work colleagues, with family. Don't wait for the next first date to get some practice in.

KNOW YOUR GOAL

Ultimately your goal is to get the option of a second date. But how?

Well, what would make you want to go out with the person sitting across from you? Let's accept that you fancy them physically because you're going on a date with them. What would need to happen on that date to make you think, ‘Yes, I'd really like to go out on another date with them.'

The answer?

You had a great time together.

If your partner finds you attractive and they had a great time with you, they will definitely want that second date. So your real goal is to ensure they have a great time on your first date.

To do that from a conversational point of view you need to ensure that they're talking about and re-living experiences that they've enjoyed in the past. Because when we talk about things we've enjoyed, we re-experience those good feelings.

String together a whole bunch of questions that make your partner re-experience good feelings and by the end of the date, they'll be feeling fantastic and know they had a good time!

Take a quick look back to those questions in the last section. Every one of them is designed to get your partner to re-experience things that they love to do. Things that make them feel good.

So your real conversational goal is to make them experience good feelings when they're with you. The easiest way to do that is to question them in a way that makes them find things they've enjoyed doing.

WHAT NEXT?

First date conversations are like any other dating conversations – only you tend to put more pressure on yourself because you feel like there's more at stake if you don't make a good first impression.

You need to know that conversation is a critical part of getting second dates. The good news is that conversation is a skill that can be learned. Follow the initial guidelines in this article and you'll have made a brilliant start.