At dinner this week with a corporate client, she talked about the fine line between 'overwhelm' and 'upset.' When she's upset about something, she's churning and distracted and unable to focus or concentrate on things she needs to get done. When she sorts out what has her upset, overwhelm simply melts away. An instant boost in productivity!



You know when you're upset and you sure can see it in others. Your mind is yammering away at you endlessly, steam's coming out of your ears, and your neck is so tense your shoulders are up around your ears. Everything around you becomes annoying.

Sometimes the event that triggered the upset is right there, in your line of sight. And that sure makes it easy to stay focused on it and deal with it - then and there. But we so seldom know what has us upset in the moment it occurs.

Most often, the source of our upset is vague and the drain on our productivity drags on and on and on.

I teach my Inner Circle Program members how to identify what motivates them to hang on to the upset. For some, it's a great procrastination technique. They conveniently distract themselves from tackling uninteresting or unpleasant tasks. For others it's stubborn habit and their ego demanding they hold their attitude to prove themselves right.

At some point they decide they've had enough of being "stalled" and they use the following 3 -step technique I teach them to dissect and eliminate The Upset and get back on track.

It's another of the 7 Essential Techniques I use with my clients to recover their 'brain power' and increase their productivity. You need to learn this technique! It'll help you focus so you can identify the real issues buried behind the upset, and get your attention back on what it takes to Achieve Your Vision.

THE HIGH PAYOFF TECHNIQUE TO CLEAR OUT 'THE UPSET' Are you finding no one has any attention for actually solving things! Do you feel like a lot of finger pointing and blaming is going on, instead of work? Do you find people on your team have their reason why the other is creating complications and problems? And what about you? Let's start using the technique with you.

1 - Identify the Trigger of the Upset

All that churn and emotion overlays some breakdown that occurred. The most frequent breakdowns are due to assumptions, expectations and communication. You made some assumption that actual events didn't live up to. Or you were holding expectations that others didn't fulfill. And the award winning biggest trigger is that communication broke down. Either you thought it and didn't say it. Or you thought it and said it poorly. Or you said it but it wasn't understood. Or someone else thought it and didn't say it.... I could go on, but you get the idea.

Once you identify which of the breakdowns occurred you're ready for Step 2.

2 - Clear Up Your Part

The root of an Upset may be one or more of the breakdowns. To really flush that upset out and be done with it for good, you need to identify your own role in it.

Was there some assumption you were carrying that actually had nothing to do with this particular situation? If so, how will you acknowledge that to yourself, and to the other people involved to get it out of the mix? How about a phone call, a note, or a face to face meeting to get the right assumptions agreed to so you can create a fresh start.

Were you holding expectations that others didn't even know they were 'supposed to' meet? Identify them and get them off the table so you can get your attention back on the true goals surrounding the event.

What communication did you not share effectively? Now is the time to reword it, ask for a fresh opportunity to say it differently and more productively, and get everyone back on track.

3 - Clean Up the Relationship

Upsets almost always take place in situations between people. With the language for those potential triggers, it can be very easy to ask another person, or an entire team, to dissect what may be derailing an interaction or work effort. In the same way that you can ask yourself which of those 3 triggers has taken you off track, you can ask others if there might have been an unstated expectation or assumption, or missed communication.

Posing the question in that fashion allows for a very neutral and objective conversation. It creates a collaboration between you and the others involved that becomes analytical rather than emotional. In fact it makes it very easy for everyone to say "Oh! Sorry about that! How can we sort that out and restart this?"

Clear out the upsets and watch how everyone recovers their intellectual attention for taking care of business!