How do you do? Do you already have a relationship or just looking for one? In either case, I suppose, you dream of having a loving partner, who kisses you every time he or she sees you, you are having great intercourse every now and then so that you both think it is often, you can always tell your partner everything that happened that day and receive a warm understanding, no quarrel is on horizon and life is just beautiful!



Wow, I wish I have it for all my life, you say. Well, probably you do, I really wish so. But in case you still want to improve that, I suggest you read some further.

According to a 'Personal Values' course I studied and than used that data a couple of times with constant success, the ONLY thing that can cool a relationship is when you do something YOU KNOW your partner would not approve of and you DON'T TELL HIM ABOUT IT!

Oh, oh, oh. That's a silent bomb just waiting to explode. And meanwhile? It causes you to avoid speaking with your partner just a little (here goes open communication); you feel some eluding shame and suddenly start to find faults in your partner (here shrinks the attraction and affection); your partner just doesn't understand what's going on (bye bye agreement and understanding).

Quarrels start and eventually you just don't understand why you need that relationship anymore and you'd better cool off at your parents or so. And so the relationship goes by the boards. Pity!

All that was needed was:

1. Not doing things you KNOW your partner would not approve of. This requires PERSONAL STRENGTH and INTEGRITY!

2. If already done, just telling him or her about it and taking the responsibility both for not doing it again and also for compensating your partner for what has been done. This requires COURAGE and a lot of it.

In order to help with the first point above, I suggest you talk to your partner as soon as possible and decide what is absolutely inappropriate for each of you, and what you wouldn't want your partner to commit, since it would be real hard to forgive and forget. This act is called 'creating a common moral code'.

From now on both of you just know the borders of each other behavior, which would let you stay a couple with trust and understanding of each other.

I sincerely hope this was quite helpful to you.