So then, what indeed does make a "Great Lover" ? This is a delicate subject, yet, although I do not profess to be the world's expert on differentiating between great lovers and not, being an expert in the field of human sexuality I do have a solid opinion based on both unsolicited and randomly provided comments and interactions with people that I come across.

The makings of a Great Lover is somewhat of an intangible thing. However being an expert in the field of Human sexuality, I am often privy to numerous opinions on the subject whether in private practice or over cocktails at dinner with friends.

Yes guys, we women do talk about such things. Possibly a bit differently than males do, but we talk. A friend of mine put it like this, there are good lover, selfish lovers, bad and great, but most importantly, the best lover is the guy that makes you feel special. You know, the one that knows what you want and is willing to please his partner. Its not all about the guy.

The opinions expressed by many women about what makes a lover great seems to have a general theme across the board. It appears that women want a voice in their own sex lives nowaday. Gone are the days of wanting to simply 'be taken' by the machismo man!

Not So Much Guy:

This Casanova brags of his sexual prowess on the first date. He moves too quickly and puts his hands in your personal space at first chance. There seems to be no respect for who the woman is as a person, she is only seen as an objectified object of his desires.

The NSG man is all about himself. his own performance and pleasure. When you make a suggestion ,he sticks to his story and pressures you into his way or no way. Good sex between two mature adults is about sharing, communication, negotiation and most of all playfulness.

HEALTHY Sex Practices NOTE:

Reality check: (STDs) are incredibly common in the U.S. -- even if your social circle is affluent and educated. The most common STDs are: Chlamydia, genital herpes, genital warts caused by human papillomavirus (HPV), and HIV/AIDS. To reduce risk, use a condom every time you have sex. Ask your partner if he or she has ever had an STD -- even if the question feels awkward. Limit your number of sexual partners. Don't have sex with someone who has sores on his or her genitals. Receiving receive oral sex from any person with a cold sore aslso puts you at risk. It is important to ask your partner to be tested.

Here's another reality check: sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are incredibly common in the U.S. -- even if your social circle is affluent and educated. The most common STDs are: Chlamydia, genital herpes, genital warts caused by human papillomavirus (HPV), and HIV/AIDS. To reduce risk, use a condom every time you have sex. Ask your partner if he or she has ever had an STD -- even if the question feels awkward. Limit your number of sexual partners. Don't have sex with someone who has sores on his or her genitals. Don't receive oral sex from somebody with a cold sore. Ask your partner to be tested. Try alternate forms of sexual intimacy.

The Lover rated "Good":

A lover in order to rate the 'Good Lover' status: This man takes responsibility and provides his own safe-sex protection. The GL is grown up, i.e mature and responsible, and usually knows what he wants, no game-playing for this guy. He is not too quick to jump the starting gate on the first date and knows the basic rules of following the woman's lead. Although he may know what he wants, there is no sense of entitlement on this good guys part. The GL Lover is able to follow his woman's lead both in and out of the sheets.

A GL Man:

The Elusive Great Lover:

Wanted: GL unique creature: This man really does exist. The makings of a Great Lover depends on how healthy he is both mentally and physically himself. This man wants a partner who challenges and supports him towards being a more awake, present and open lover. This man is not into playing games and is ready for the work and play it takes to co-create an extaordinary relationship together. In order to be considerd a GL, the man must be looking for a woman who wants more than a partner "for masturbation by other", i.e. more than a one night stand. Mechanical sex is not what its cracked up to be. Its like sleepwalking through life, and eating the ice cream cone without the ice cream. The flow and co-creation of great sex belongs only to the one who finds a great lover.