1) Connecting with people does not mean you have to be a phony. It is the direct opposite of pretending to be someone you are not.



2) Connecting with people means you should be aware of who you are first and what you hold dear to yourself. This means being aware of what values you espouse and stand for.

3) You must then be able to form a relationship between your personal set of values with the values that other people hold dear to themselves. This then is the act of connecting with people.

How does one go about connecting with people?

1) You connect with other people by taking advantage of your potential for communicating with other people. This means using your body and your faculties during the communication process.

2) Make eye contact with the other person. This may be one of the most valuable non-verbal means of communication you can use. One glance from another person can speak volumes about that person's feelings and attitude about you. How many times have fights broken out in bars and restaurants simply because one person looked at the other person "the wrong way"? Much of what we want to communicate can be delivered through the eyes.

3) Be conscious of the different channels for communication that you and other people use. Many misunderstandings crop up when someone uses a communication channel that the other person is unfamiliar with. For example, some people like to talk a lot so they don't understand people who aren't so vocal. Others are "touchers" who like to convey part of what they are feeling to the other person through touch - perhaps a pat on the shoulder, or a friendly swat on the behind are all it takes for this person to show approval.

4) Be conscious of gaps between cultures. In this age of multiculturalism, where different cultures can co-exist in the same community, it is inevitable that communication can breakdown occasionally (and sometimes more often than is comfortable.) It helps if you are tolerant towards other cultures because then you do not instantly become hostile at the mere presence of a person from another culture.

If you are aware of what you stand for and know you will not be immediately convinced to follow another cultural perspective, then there is no need to bristle when a new person from another culture makes his presence known. On the contrary, you will welcome cultural exchanges for their potential value to you.

5) Be aware of your potential for change. Sometimes, it is necessary to interact with other people because you have a need to change something about yourself. Fanatics have a hard time changing because they believe their beliefs are superior to other beliefs.

If you look inside yourself and find that there are aspects of your beliefs, thoughts, or personality that could be adjusted, then this can only help to improve your relationships with other people. If another person is able to point out that need to change, it is beneficial if you are open to changing. Otherwise, hostilities will result but you will remain the same person who needs to change.

People skills can be improved if you only know how to go about it. And improving your people skills will benefit you in a myriad of ways. So do take the appropriate steps to enhance your people skills and see the difference these make in your relationships with other people.