Thinking back onto this question, it's funny, why, because I did think my love would transform him; but in reality it back fired on me. I learned from this experience, you cannot help or change anyone that does not want to try and do it for themselves first. The point I am trying to make here is that; if a person is immature about their ways or just a pathetic person, things will never change.



For instance, a man I was dating at the time, and started to love had many issues. For starters he was very insecure. That should have been a red flag for me from the beginning, but of course, like every mighty woman; I thought I would be able to change him.

Kevin was a very melodious man. From the blind side of things, he was a good caught for any single mother that was looking for a change. Kevin was a single Dad but the child lived with its mother and they did not deal with him at all, only for major things like child support and holidays. He was very good looking, nice muscular body and very attractive. He had a lovely job and dealt with family members on an at needed basis. Again, any single Mom would have soar on this man very quickly! As usual, there was a flaw.

Kevin was more interested in me, than I was in him. When we first met, the calls were very numerous and long. I didn't think nothing was wrong because, it was a new relationship. Anything and everything I wanted to do or my daughters wanted to do, it was done. We would stay up night after night talking and laughing. Even the sex was tremendous, hell more than sufficient. Sometimes I would have to actually say enough was enough and it was very odd for me to portray sex, I live for it! (If you want to go all night, I'm wit it---shit for two days, if you can hang!) But, Kevin; it was too much. It was as if he hasn't or never had any for 6mths or so more.

Even though Kevin was like this, he started to act wishy-washy with everyone on my side of the family he didn't know. Mind you, we just met, so he didn't know a lot of people. For instance, I have a huge family and we are very very close. It's impossible for us not to speak to each other everyday. I have four brothers and three sisters along with my mother and three aunts.

As the relationship got a little stronger, Kevin started to begin his vulnerable tactics with the insecurity stage, like questioning whom I was on the phone with to who is coming over and whose names are in my family address book. I told Kevin time after time again, I didn't have anything to conceal. Actually I didn't. I wanted to get to know this man and build a life with him. My daughters liked him, and the family thought he was nice. So, I didn't have a quandary going through any and everything to make this relationship work. But, I guess that slight issue was not good enough.

One day, I got to work and had seven messages from various different relatives like, cousins and friends of the family. When upon listening to these messages, I was told they were questioned by a guy named Kevin that was residing at my house now and wanted to get some things straight. He wanted to verify that they were cousins and actual long time friends of the family before things got stronger. They were a little upset, but after talking with them about the situation, I thought things would simmer down; WRONG! Things got worse!

I let that ordeal go, but looking back now; this was a sign to get out.

The next ironic things Kevin started to do was the high proceedings of following me around, at first it was he didn't want me to go anywhere, but as a single mother comes the single girlfriends you tend to stay in contact with for camaraderie. He didn't like that. I told Kevin that it's not normal for a couple to be around each other all day everyday, they will grow tired of one another too quickly. He agreed to it but did a 360-evil-demoniod-creature towards the situation and a huge squabble broke out. Before I knew it, the argument was resolved with Kevin coming along with my daughters and me. YES, he came with me for the next 3 weeks to my girlfriend's houses. Everywhere we went shopping, he came along. We went grocery shopping, he came along. I go visit my mother and her sisters, he came along. (Kevin would not do anything by himself. He wouldn't even go check on his personal things without me right by his side as if he thought I would do something behind his back.)

He would sit in a room away from us directly and give everyone the evil eye and or as if everyone has done him wrong. My friends thought it was funny; they started to think he was my personal assistant the way he was acting. You know, this was very embarrassing for me where I stop the visits. Not wanting to know what they were saying behind my back. I decided to allow my girlfriends and family to start visiting more at my house to see if this would help out the uncomfortableness. I was wrong about this too. Each time I request or told Kevin the girls was coming over or the family for dinner, he would make up an excuse that we had something to do, we had somewhere to go, or the big one ?When do he get to have his quality time!?

I didn't see the problem until the 5th episode; I knew there was something very wrong. When I wanted to talk about the situation, it became a huge quarrel where yelling last over 3 or 4 hours. During the awful arguments, he would actually bring up the fact that I needed him and he needed me. We don't need others in our relationship. And if this was not the kicker, he actually starts telling me to my face of all the things he had done for me and I needed him!

This incident never stopped. As time went on, Kevin got worse with a lot of diffidence. He went from not wanting me to be around my girlfriends to not wanting me to be around my family. He actual would say to me that I didn't need such wild girlfriends, they are bad influences. I have him, I don't need that mess. I caught him checking the house phone after we got off the phone. I caught him checking my cell phone, writing down my direct connect numbers and checking out the information when he got to work. I even caught Kevin writing down the mileage on my car to see how far I went.

Enough was enough. I had enough and knew it was time to let things go. Kevin decided to tell me that I shouldn't be on the phone with other people, unless I was talking to him because he was paying the bill. I had enough! I told Kevin that we need to go our own separate ways, and he actually told me that he would eradicate himself, if I would leave him. I actually had to tell him, he needed help. Please get some help. I cannot and will not go any further with him.

When things gets this arduous, you must learn the option to move on very early in the relationship or it will become so physical, it will be hard to get out of or even get hurt.