Last month, I was horrified by the reaction singer and reality star Jessica Simpson's slightly fuller figure generated in the media. This month, the internet is buzzing with another topic near and dear to the hearts of those who believe the way to feel good about yourself is to tear other people down. Their latest target is blonde, beautiful actress Gwyneth Paltrow, best known for her Oscar-winning role in ?Shakespeare in Love?. Her crime? Daring to share her lifestyle secrets in a blog.



In case you haven't seen it, and I would venture to say the majority of her critics have not, Paltrow's blog, called Goop, is basically a collection of tips based on the type of lifestyle she lives ? one where she is privileged enough to be able to make very precise choices about what she eats, how she exercises and how she lives her life. Clearly, these choices work for her ? it would be hard to look at her shining hair, glowing skin and perfect figure and see anything but a beautiful woman. And clearly those choices wouldn't be right for everyone ? not all of us have the money for personal trainers, the time and dedication to devote to internal ?cleansing? and the patience (and taste buds) for a macrobiotic diet.

But the level of anger and ridicule the actress as been subjected to simply for sharing things that make her feel good and beautiful has really taken me off guard. And after last month's savaging of Jessica Simpson, it got me thinking ? how many of us are building self esteem at the expense of others? And more importantly, why do people do that?

I have dedicated my life to trying to help women achieve both inner beauty and outer beauty. And nothing is as out of step with both of those goals than confidence building in the form of tearing other people down. Making comparative statements like ?at least I'm thinner than so and so? or ?wow, so and so has really aged? may make you feel good momentarily, but focusing negative energy on other people can stunt your spiritual growth. After all, true beauty comes from being the best you can be ? both inside and out ? not from comparing yourself to another person and declaring yourself superior.

I believe the true way to build confidence is to build the women around you up rather than tear them down. We should all feel free and encouraged to share our gifts with the world, whatever they are, and regardless of who in the world might not like or respond to them.

The tips and tricks in Gwyneth Paltrow's blog may not be right for you, or even for most women struggling to get by in the world today. But I believe we should be celebrating a beautiful, successful woman's effort to share her positive energy with anyone who is interested, rather than tearing her down. After all, if you're not interested in what she has to say, no one is forcing you to read it.

And if you are interested in trying a macrobiotic cleansing diet, some of her recipes actually sound yummy.

Copyright (c) 2009 Dawn McIntyre