"I was raised to believe my natural gifts and talents should be ignored. My father and mother both artists, warned me about following what I loved and was talented to do (art and spirituality), in favor of fitting into the general economic system. This began a lifelong pattern of self denial as the price to pay for profit. "



The radio host continued to ask me pointed questions for his Sunday night radio show about healing victims of abuse.

I continued, "This led me to 'fit in,' make high grades in school not because I liked the subject but because it was there and I had to do it. I kept denying who I was for something defined by other people."

"This led to work I did not like, but paid the bills. Finally it led to millionaire status in my mid forties. Not that being a millionaire is bad, but the price I paid for getting there was loss of self and identity, something without a price tag."

In this numbed state I thought a husband would complete me. After lighting a candle and saying a prayer on Valentine's Day 1998 I met the man who was to be my husband 12 days later. Ironically, this husband reflected what was in me at that time. A lack of identity!

His "game" with me was to put me down, control and isolate. The simplest thing, like picking out a house pet, was stolen from me under his reign. This affected me so completely I felt like a rough piece of chewed up pulp he spit out when our relationship ended. I was empty, purposeless and without direction.

During this time my money ironically kept dissipating in a free fall to hell, as well.

I tried to re-create the money, solve the marriage and live a "dream life" using the same metaphysic principles upon which I had created these accomplishments. However, I could not get them working again. I was caught in quick sand and sinking rapidly.

It was as if losing a sense of identity prevented my ability to create anything. The universe co-creates with you. If you lose you, you can no longer create with it!

I prayed for help. This was my salvation. I did not know what else to do. I was trapped, without identity, purpose or direction. I was led to ask that my natural gifts and talents be used in productive service to others. As soon as I did, my identity began to shape and form. With that miracles started happening.

One could say the ultimate abuse is taking away someone's identity. When your "self" is infracted upon by addictions, sexual molestation, incest, control, violence, emotional put downs, you are taken. The list is endless, but the theme is the same. Each and every form of abuse takes away "you."

Even the media can abuse us. Think about the way the tobacco companies went about capturing a youth market with clever advertising.

How do we regain our identity? By paying attention to who we are and taking small steps at first to support our feelings. The more you pay attention to your feelings and act on them, while letting go of those that do not express your highest self, the more you regain yourself.

As you regain yourself your life starts to improve. You will notice an ability to create with the universe better. Creating from a pure and clear feeling about who you are is powerful and truly miraculous.

The more you allow your feelings to be heard the more your intuition will start to surface. You will be led more often because you will be in touch with your feelings and be able to follow them.

Finally you will enter a continuous state of miracle flow, where your life will start to have a magical quality to it. The real you will shine like a beacon of attraction bringing to it all sorts of wonderful equivalents including right work, right relationship and true wealth.

As this process continues to unfold in my own life, I found a troubled personal relationship affected. As I nourished myself and followed my talents, my self esteem and sense of self love improved. I clung less to the other person for validation. Suddenly the relationship started falling away of its own accord without my having to force or fight the issue.

This is a great example of the way spiritual healing works. Fighting is replaced with a gentle shift of energy emerging new conditions.

To begin your healing start by paying attention to how you feel in certain situations. Don't react, just observe. You will find from this a greater awareness of yourself and a certain peace. You will also find you do not have to react.

Reacting in life puts us down an addictive path with a momentum all its own. This is difficult to stop. Not reacting gives us the freedom to make healthy choices. You have time to think about what you can do to nourish and nurture yourself, how to surround yourself better with joy, healing, light and love. Finally, a sense of deep peace emerges as you realize there is a heavenly force ready to help you, so long as you have cleared yourself enough to listen.

At times this process can be a little overwhelming. In this instance a good counselor or coach can be usefully or even a friend who understands this. Don't go it alone.