I would like to think that every addict could find the path to sobriety but I know this is not realistic in the long run. I knew a lot of people when I was using who have never been to treatment, or for that matter, had the desire to go to treatment.



I had knew a few who went to treatment but they had no desire to stop using drugs. While they were in treatment, they would be making plans to get high with the little bit of money they had managed to bum off others while there.

I knew a lot of people that blew all their money and ended up homeless. I remember taking my rent money on more than one occasion and buying some dope, telling myself that I would sell it and make my money back and pay the rent.

Well check this out, did you ever see a monkey that could sell bananas? Of course not. So you get the picture. I shot up all the dope and had to once again ask my family to pay my rent. They were great enablers.

If it were not for them paying my bills and lending me money all the time who knows what my life would have been like. I am grateful that they helped me but on the other hand their actions might have kept me using.

I remember riding around town with the gas tank on empty and would not put gas in the car. My thought was I needed it to score drugs. We would usually run out of fuel and have to bum down the street with a can to try and get some more gas.

Then we would walk back with the gas and start the whole routine over again. I think one day we ran out of gas like six times before we got a bag of dope. How crazy is that? I have lived through this madness, thinking all the while that everything was alright.

I remember becoming physically weak, losing like fifty sixty pounds, and when I would look in the mirror I would tell myself "man you are looking good." This is the extent of my denial; that I did not realize that I looked like the walking dead.

I also remember when I was in long term treatment our therapist took our pictures when we first came in. After quite a few months the therapist showed me mine. It scared me quite a bit. I saw a dead man.

I could see my cheek bones and I did not have any meat on my bones at all. I felt bad for the person in that picture and it brought tears to my eyes.

I am telling you this so that you don't have to go through. I am a big one for giving people another chance because I can not tell you how many chances I have got.

I also believe there is hope for everyone. No addict needs to die from the horrors of addiction. Help is available. You can stop using heroin. I always suggest that people start with meetings. Then they can move on to other things like addiction therapy. Once they get a little clean time they can start working on repairing the wreckage of their past. This is how the process starts.