I went to the grocery store to pick up some candy for my daughter, and decided to drop by the deli and get a quick bite myself since I hadn't eaten dinner. Normally there are two people working in the deli, but today there was only one. She was hidden behind a wall doing dishes, so she couldn't see me.

So I walked around to an angle where she could see me, and she gave me a rather nasty glare. She looked busy, and wasn't paying me much attention beyond the glare.

Now, I had two options here.

1) Be upset because she was ignoring me and didn't seem to have any desire to do her job at all.

2) Recognize that she was busy come back in a little bit.

To get upset would probably have been perfectly justified. After all, she was the only one working in the deli, and I stood at the counter for a couple of minutes waiting for her. She saw me, and still ignored the fact that I was needing something there. I could complain to her manager and cause an ordeal, insisting that the service at the store should be better than that (which, no doubt, it should).

The other option would be to recognize she was busy, even if she should have stopped what she was doing, and come back in a little bit. This is what I chose to do. Since I had not yet gotten the candy for my daughter, I went and got that and then came back.

Again I walked to where she would be able to see me. When she looked at me, I smiled and pointed toward the food behind the glass, then made my way back over there. Slowly, she washed up and came up to me, still looking annoyed.

To diffuse the situation, I said in a sympathetic tone, "They have you working back here all by yourself?" Her response showed that she was clearly annoyed, not with me, but with her employer.

"Yes they do!" she said.

I told her I was sorry she had to work by herself, and she responded that it wasn't my fault.

That little gesture of understanding completely changed the woman's attitude. She was suddenly friendly, smiling and helpful. As many older women in the southern United States will do when they like somebody, she referred to me as "baby" and "hon". The transaction went smooth, and I left her in a much better mood than I had found her.

Now, I could have caused a fuss and talked to management, but instead I decided to just be nice and understanding and make the best of it. I noticed that she was by herself, which is unusual for that store, and I figured she wasn't happy about having to handle the whole deli on her own. My hunch turned out to be true and the situation turned out fine.

How does this apply to business? In two ways:

First, as a customer, you can try and be understanding of the people you do business with, knowing that they are people, too, and not everything goes perfect for them every day. Doing this is not only the right thing to do (since you'd want people to be understanding of your bad day right?), but it also gets you a lot farther a lot faster.

Who knows how long it would have taken to get what I was needing if I had caused a stink? Besides, I go in that store a lot, and I don't want to have hassles every time I do because I decided to be overly demanding and harsh.

Secondly, as a business owner, you need to be understanding of your customers in the same way. If they approach for support or with questions that are harshly worded, try and think: "What's happened to this person that he's approaching me this way? Is it really me they're upset with, or are they just frustrated?"

That's easier said than done, to be sure, and I've failed at it quite a few times myself. But when I remember to be considerate despite a customer or businessperson's harsh tone, things always go much more smoothly.

I once heard this adage: If, when taking a walk, you bark back at every dog who's barking at you, you'll never make it around the block.

Well business (and life) is that walk, and the way we choose to deal with people will in large part determine how well things go for us, and how much we get accomplished.