Please allow me to get slightly philosophical before I give you my answer…
First, whenever you are dealing with human beings from any culture there is never one “right” answer that will be consistently true. We should not deal in absolutes.
Second, know that you can learn to work much more effectively with Japanese (or people from any other culture) by doing two things:
1) learning useful “concepts” from others who have a great deal of experience and insight into the culture, and
2) using your own powers of observation and good judgment.
In my book, The Least You Need To Know About Doing Business With the Japanese, I give useful, practical advice on how to communicate more effectively with Japanese, thus helping you with item one. If you internalize these concepts and then apply your own observation and judgment to your situation, I guarantee you will improve your relations with the Japanese you work with almost immediately.
Having said all that, here is my view on this specific topic…
Traditionally, throughout most of Asia, people bowed to each other as a form of greeting, and did not involve human contact similar to the handshake used in the West. The historical reason for this was to show deference and trust. A person bowing in front of you was essentially giving you his neck, trusting that you would not cut his head off with your sword.
Lest you think this is a silly concept, you should know that the historical reason for the Western handshake was for both parties to prove that they were unarmed, and offered greetings of peace – which is why we still shake using our right hands (most people were and still are right-handed).
Obviously no one thinks about these things anymore. If you find yourself in modern-day business situations where you are concerned that the other party is carrying a weapon, or might lop your head off mid-bow, perhaps you should find another line of work!
The point is that both simple methods of greetings, the bow and the handshake, have historical significance and modern application. They also have many subtle (and some not-so-subtle) variations. Imagine shaking hands with someone you have just met and will be playing basketball with. Now imagine greeting the President of the United States with a handshake. Next, imagine giving a high-five to a friend you haven't seen in a while. These are all variations of the handshake.
Similarly, in Japan, there are many variations of the bow. Some are very formal, some are very informal. Being introduced to the president of the corporation in which you are employed would command a much more formal bow than the one you'd give to the McDonalds employee who just served you a teriyaki burger!
Here are some general guidelines:
For the most formal version of the bow, used in formal business or political settings:
- Face your counterpart with your feet close together and your hands at your sides
- Do not put your hands in your pockets
- Divide your body into two parts: upper (above the waist) and lower (below the waist). Bend at the waste and remain in the lower position for a short period of time before coming back up.
- Do not bend your neck to look up at your counterpart while bowing (ignore the Karate Kid advice that says “always look at your opponent”. You are not in a competition that involves striking.)
- If you are exchanging business cards, be sure to give and receive with two hands, if possible. Make sure you look at the card for a moment or two, even if it's in Japanese and you can't read it (I explain why this is important in my book)
For less formal situations, you will basically mimic the formal version of the bow, but with more relaxed rules. Therefore, it is less important that your feet are together, that you stay in the lower-bow position, etc. In fact, you may just give a very slight bow rather than a full, bend-at-the-waist bow.
Westerners doing business with Japanese will often encounter those who are very familiar with Western culture. In International settings it has become more common for Japanese to combine a bow and a handshake.
Consider the difference in how you would shake hands with the CEO of your company, versus a handshake you give to a friend of your friend at the bar. The “rules” are the same; some of them are just more relaxed. Since this is hard to explain to someone, I always recommend that when Westerners travel to Japan, they carve out about 20 minutes to sit in the hotel lobby to observe people bowing to one another. During a busy period you will witness over 100 “exchanges” in that time. These guidelines and your powers of observation will be the keys to better understanding and learning the Japanese culture.
History In Japan Vol.2
Japan is a country of many traditions and etiquettes. Everything in Japan has its own way to be done and if you do something different, everyone will look at you wonderingly. Tourists coming to Japan are amazed and interested by the large variety of food available. However, there are some basic table manners that foreigners should know so that they don't feel like a fish out of water in Japan.
In Japan, it is an important etiquette to say traditional phrases before and after a meal. People start a meal by saying "itadakimasu" ("I gratefully receive") and after finishing eating they say "gochisosama (deshita)" ("Thank you for the meal") with a bow. It is crucial for you to say these phrases, especially when you are invited for a meal or someone cooks for you.
Chopsticks are used widely in all Japanese homes and restaurants. It may be very difficult for foreigners to become familiar with using Japanese chopsticks. Besides knowing how to eat using chopsticks, foreigners have to know some rules of this kind of utensil. One of the most important rules is not to pass food with your chopsticks directly to somebody else's chopsticks and vice versa. You shouldn't point your chopsticks at somebody or something. Playing with your chopsticks at a meal is also inadvisable. When you want to get food from a shared plate to your own plate, use the other ends of your chopsticks. This is considered polite and considerate in Japan.
It is appreciated in Japan to wait until everyone is served before you start eating. It is also considered considerate to empty your dishes completely because the Japanese are very economical. When eating, try to chew with your mouth closed and don't burp during the meal because that is considered bad manners. If you are given some extra food, for example a bowl of rice, accept it with both hands. When eating, try not to eat in big pieces. You should separate the large piece with your chopsticks and eat every small piece. In contrast to some Western countries where people are often taught not to make slurping noises when eating soup or noodles, it is considered a normal thing in Japan. It even seems strange in Japan if you eat noodles without a sound!
If there are alcoholic drinks at the meal, you shouldn't just pour the alcohol into your own glass. You should check your friends' glasses frequently and if their glasses are getting empty, you should serve them with more. It is considered bad manner to be seen drunk in public in some formal restaurants. However, in some informal ones drunkenness is acceptable as long as you don't bother others.
There are usually no napkins used at Japanese meals, thus you should prepare for yourself some tissues or a handkerchief. In Japan and in some other Asian countries, during the meal you shouldn't talk about anything related to the toilet or any similar topics. This is strictly unappreciated because it is assumed that people lose their appetite when hearing about those things.
Both Steve Acho & Michael Russell are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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