Buying an engagement ring can feel scary and intimidating. This is the ring she will wear for the rest of her life and it will be from you. Sometimes you might feel afraid that she won't like what you pick or that you can't afford the perfect ring. You can get around all of these dilemmas with one trick: give it a story.

If you observe newly engaged women or any woman talking about her engagement ring, you will notice they are all doing the same thing: they are telling the story of the ring. Very few women would say "Isn't it nice? It's a G color VS2 clarity 1.2 carat diamond and it cost $5000." It is more common to hear things like, "Isn't it beautiful? It was his grandmother's." Or "He said it reminded him of me the moment he saw it. It is so special." This is how women talk because this is what is important to them. You can save money and stress by going with your heart and being creative: give the ring a story she will tell with pride for decades.

How to Give a Ring a Story:

Have a ring made that has a little bit of both of you.

You can have a ring made that contains a stone for you, a stone for her and a stone for your future together. For example, you can have your birthstone and her birthstone on either side of a diamond. Or if you each have a favorite gemstone that you relate to strongly, you can use those two together. For example, if she loves the sea and you love the forest, you can have a ring made with a pearl from the ocean and amber from an ancient tree.

Give her a piece of your family history.

If you have any jewelry pieces that are special to your family, you can consider either giving her the entire ring, or taking some of the stones to use in a ring you have custom made. You can also use her family history. If either of you look up to a particular couple as your models, say, a romance that lasted for 65 years, you can make a replica of that couple's engagement ring.

Find a ring with a history of its own that you would like to continue

It might be possible to find a very nice ring at an estate sale, antique shop or auction that has an interesting history that is relative to what you would like to have in your marriage. For example, if there is a ring that was owned by early settlers of the Western US, you might give your beloved that ring as a symbol of starting your life together on your own terms and against all odds.

Replicate a Ring from one of her fairy tales

If there is a story she loves, or a celebrity she admires, consider researching and replicating the engagement ring they have. For example, Prince Frederick of Denmark gave his fiance Mary a ring with an emerald cut diamond and 2 emerald cut rubies on either side. Napoleon Bonaparte gave his wife Josephin a peridot to show his love.

Challenge the Status Quo

Instead of giving a diamond ring, use another gemstone that has a meaning and power that is relevant to your lady or your union. Diamonds as the common stone for engagement rings are relatively new- only in the last century. In previous eras, there was more variety. Research the meanings and powers of different gemstones and give yourself permission to think outside of the jewelry box. For example, you could give her a sapphire, which brings abundance and heightens the wearer's perceptions of beauty, as a way to introduce her to the glorious life you will live together.