When I first became involved in Internet Marketing I was looking for some way to make money without a lot of time commitment and investment. I wanted to avoid the dozens of overblown opportunity pitches that screamed "this is going to be labor intensive and complicated" even when they said it would be easy as pie.



Surfing the web led me to this come-on: "What if I could show you how to make $25 in 8 minutes, over and over again, sitting at home in your pajamas, would you be excited?" Not convinced yet? Try these stunners:

Get paid to take online surveys and make from $5 to $75 each, or more.

Get paid to participate in focus groups and make up to $150 an hour.

Get paid to take phone surveys and you can earn as much as $120 an hour.

Get paid to preview new movie trailers for $4 to $25 an hour.

And then this disclaimer: "I don't drive a Ferrari or wear $5,000 suits but I'll never have to argue with my wife about money again, that's for sure."

The desire to do something casual in my pajamas led me to this online survey directory service. Just sign up, register with about 20 to 40 survey companies, and side money would be on the way.

Once involved, you figure out pretty quick that you are going to get a lot of something but it will not be cash. Every survey source dangles a carrot in front of you named cash and prizes, but what you really earn for your effort is squat, as in nothing of substance, and especially cash.

Most of the surveys available offer points toward some distant, unknown product or target, or the promise to pay one survey taker a sum of money in a drawing for those who complete the survey.

I was never, ever offered cash to take a survey of any kind.

Here is a good example of the subterfuge you put up with in online survey opportunities:

This one is from Survey Rewards and the subject line says: "Answer this JC Penney survey & get $500!" Right away they want all of your pertinent identification so they know where to send your $500 JC Penney gift card. The info includes your name, address, phone, birth date and gender. Sounds innocent enough.

In the fine print below is this injunction:

"To receive the incentive gift you must: 1) register with valid information; 2) complete the user survey; 3) complete at least 2 Silver, 2 Gold and 2 Platinum offers; and 4) refer 1 unique household(s) that also complete these requirements. Purchase may be required. Please read Terms & Conditions for details."

Excuse me? I thought you were paying me in goods, services or cash for my survey responses rather than me subsidizing your lame and inane offers.

Stupid does not begin to describe this online survey exercise. You are offered dozens of choices to become involved in goods and services you do not want or need and every single one of them is calculated to relieve you of your hard earned cash.

You can sign up for a Discover Gas Card, Columbia House DVDs, Discover Platinum Clear Card, Disney movies, BMG Music Service, Vioderm (think Botox), yourmusic.com (CDs), Video Professor, Gevalia 12 cup coffee maker (and on and on). And remember, you have to commit to accepting 6 of these offers and then convince the relative you least like to do what you are doing. It sounds like Amway all over again.

Lest you think all of this is just harmless fun for people who have no day job and lots of time to kill, fear not, this online survey game is pernicious to the core.

The truth is most online surveys involve identifying and qualifying people to be sold goods and services that in many cases they do not want or need.

For example, you are asked to do a survey on financial issues which is really designed to set you up for a call from the representative that can solve all of your financial problems. It is kind of like not wanting to get wet and then being pushed into a pool when you cannot swim. The slick sales person answers all of your questions, like "why would I even want to talk to you?"

I found out that I did not fit into the online survey taker profile. The opportunity does not work when you are debt free, have no credit cards, have no revolving charge cards, do not want any credit cards, do not want any revolving charge cards, do not want to buy an expensive new sports car, do not want Cuban cigars (well, you get the idea).

So how stupid is this online survey hoax? Here are actual survey offers from my e-mail:

--Find Nursing Degree Programs!

--Looking For Financial Aid?

--Time For A Raise? Get A Degree!

--Start Saving Today on Your Auto Insurance

--Find Latino Singles In Your Community Today!

--Shed Unwanted Holiday Flab

Do these sound like genuine surveys? Or more like blatant sales pitches? You decide. One thing is for sure, the money trail will not be going from them to you, it will be traveling from you to them.

This online survey game is meant for people who will spend $200 to get a $20 coupon. Survey takers are really just being taken. Sadly, there are takers who believe they are getting a great deal. H. L. Mencken had it right when he said "you can never underestimate the stupidity of the American people."

Too bad online survey makers were not around in Mencken's day. He might have had an interesting observation about their occupation of choice.