What happens when we do not get the response that we want? We have two choices!
We can choose to blame the other person for not being receptive, for being unreasonable, close minded, stupid etc... But you know what? By doing this, there is nothing more we can do about it! We have shut the door on them.
For traditional communication theory, when two people communicate, both have an equal, i.e. 50% responsibility, for the success of the communication.
In other words, if A is talking and attempting to sell B an idea. A can do his best to communicate, but 50% of the success of his communication lies with B
If B has a closed mind and does not want to listen, the communication can never be successful. So is B to be blamed for the unsuccessful communication?
Unfortunately, people who accept this theory never become effective communicators. Why? Because by accepting this theory, we will always be limited as communicators. We will not always get the result we want! In fact we will seldom get the results we want.
Does this happen to you? You motivate your staff to work harder, they don't respond positively, so you give up!
You try to motivate your children to study harder, but it doesn't work, so you say, 'What's the point? They are just lazy."
You do your best to sell a product to a group of prospects, they don't buy, so you say, "I guess they are just not interested in this product."
A study of the most influential and impactful communicators in the world, revealed that they always took 100% responsibility for the success of their communication.
For example person (A) communicates an idea to person (B), and B did not respond successfully, still, person A would not lay the blame on person B.
Person A would take responsibility by accepting that his own communication was not effective. By doing so, A has the power to change the communication, until he gets the desired response.
Such great communicators adopt the belief that the meaning of their communication was the response they got, regardless of their intention.
To describe this further, if they attempted to communicate their sincerity, but the other person felt that they were insincere, they would take responsibility accepting that the meaning of their
communication was 'insincerity', even though they intended to be sincere.
It could be their tone of voice or body language that made them seem 'insincere'. They would then change their communication strategy until they got the response they desired, i.e. being sincere.
We must understand that different people perceive the world differently. Everybody has different internal filters. When you tell a joke, a group of people may laugh while another group does not think of it being funny.
This does not mean the second group does not have a sense of humor. It is just that they perceive humor differently. As a great communicator, we must take responsibility changing our communication (joke) until we make our audience laugh.
The power to communicate is one of the most important tools we have as human beings. In fact, our ability to achieve our goals largely depends on our ability to communicate and influence other people.
Taking responsibility and having extreme flexibility is the key to being a master of influence. Taking responsibility for the way we communicate and for the results we get, we attain absolute power over the effect of our communication.
How To And Influence People
We all have our own mentors - people who, in one way or another, has played a big role and influenced us in the way that we perceive things. At some point in your life, you will also find that what you have done or said has a way of influencing people. In these two cases, you will see that there is a way for you to influence people and it will benefit you if you know how to use this skill to your advantage.
There is actually no right or wrong way to influence people. The important thing when trying to influence people is that you are going for a positive result. Your success as a leader or part of a group, as well as in life in general, will depend on your ability to influence people and affect their lives in a positive way. To have a deeper understanding of how you can influence people in a positive or productive manner, take a look at the following:
1. Get your message across.
Take a manager for example. If an employee under his supervision is often late arriving to work, how can he influence this employee into improving his or her performance at work? The first thing that the manager needs to do is set a good example. By showing up on time, you are sending the message that you may be the boss but you are not exempted from the company rules - even with something as simple as coming to work on time. This way, the manager can influence the employee by being a role model and setting a good example.
2. If a person is behaving inappropriately, dig deeper into the reason for such behavior.
Influencing people into your way thinking does not - and should not involve manipulating, bullying, punishing or harassing. There should be a motivation behind such behavior, and punishing them into submission will not give you the results that you want. Find out what the reason is behind all of it. Listen to their problem and have them explain the situation to you. Only then can you make an intelligent decision and take steps on how you can change their mind into your way of thinking.
3. Explain the results that you would like to see and get feedback.
If you are a leader in a sales company, for example, you all have a common goal to meet as a company. If your employees think that you are only in it for the money with no deeper motivation, you may not influence them into thinking that they should work hard enough
to make the company profit. To influence them into meeting the goals that you have, explain the results that you would like to see. The process should not end here, because you also need to gain feedback to learn if the goals are realistic, or if the methods that you want them to use are at all feasible.
4. Learn how to listen and communicate effectively to influence people in a positive way.
Influencing people is not just limited to the workplace. Even as a parent, you can try to influence your children into living the kind of life that you would like them to have. As a friend, you may not
always agree with your friend's actions but you should always be there for them to support whatever decisions it is that they make. Listening and learning how to communicate effectively will make you influence other's lives because of a deeper understanding that you will have on what motivates them, which in turn will give
you an idea on how to deal with a particular situation.
With these in mind, you can learn how to yield positive results in the way that you influence people, so that you can be successful in reaching the goals that you have set for yourself and for others.
Both Adam Khoo & Peter Murphy are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Adam Khoo has sinced written about articles on various topics from Recreation and Sports, Web Development and Computers and The Internet. Adam Khoo is an entrepreneur, best-selling author and a self-made millionaire by the age of 26. Discover his supercharged success secrets and claim your FREE bonus report 'Supercharge Your Success!' at. Adam Khoo's top article generates over 90500 views. to your Favourites.
Peter Murphy has sinced written about articles on various topics from Modelling, Marketing and Web Development. Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at:. Peter Murphy's top article generates over 90500 views. to your Favourites.
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