When I was little I thought someday I would not be afraid. I would try new things with great anticipation and bravery. I would not be afraid of bad dreams, critical words or losing treasured belongings. Then I would be grown-up. What a sad day when I realized that I was grown-up and I was still scared. (Maybe even more!) The more I choose to think, feel and plan big things for my life, the more fear is my constant companion. What to do? Here are a three steps that have helped me face my fear.



Understand it.

The root of all fear is the fear that we cannot handle what happens to us. “If I am rejected I will just fall apart!" “If I fail I will never do anything again." The truth is that when we look back at our lives bad things have already happened! We have been rejected, failed and have experienced loss but we have dealt with it and survived. It is the anticipation of what might happen that stops us not the actual negative event! I love this quote by Mark Twain,“I have lived a long life and had many troubles, most of which never happened."

Expect it.

It is easy to begin avoiding fear by living small, never taking risk, and refusing to dream. What a boring life! Deep inside we all know that we can be and create so much more. When we choose to take the risk of dreaming big and creating amazing lives we will feel fear! The first time I taught a workshop I was shaking scared. By the second class I could breath and pass out handouts with out dropping them from my still-shaking hands. By the third class I was beginning to enjoy leading it. That is the story of fear. When we try something new we will be afraid! Expect it, take fear by the hand and say, “Come on let's go do something new!".

Dance with your fear.

Our first reaction when we feel fear is to hide from it. To pull away. To ignore it. Unfortunately,that doesn't work. As we pull away it pulls us with it and soon we are paralyzed by it. The best way I have found is to dance with fear. Say to your fear, “Hi, fear. I know you are there. Come with me as I face this new challenge." As fear grabs you, circle around and dance with it. Always moving in the direction you choose. As you take action towards your goals soon you will find that fear will loosen it's grip. (At least until you try the next new thing!)

Begin today! What is it that you have wanted to do but were too scared to try? Take fear by the hand and go for it!

"You gain strength, courage and

confidence by every experience in

which you really stop to look fear

in the face." Eleanor Roosevelt