Popups, painfully slow performance, browser home page hijacks, 47 new icons showing up on your desktop - all of which are the perks of having your computer infected with numerous spyware and adware applications, however not all of you will get the pleasure of experiencing the wonders of a malware infection.

With industry experts estimating that 90% of Internet users will get infected with spyware - that means that 10% will be left out of the fun.

So how can you be sure that you get yourself a spyware or adware infection?

Here are 7 fool proof ways:

1. Never, ever, under any circumstance install or use any type of antispyware or antivirus software. This stuff is way overrated and is just a way of getting you to spend unnecessary money. After all - spyware is your friend! Why would you want to keep it off of your computer??

2. Spend all of your time on the Internet at gambling and porn sites. This is a surefire way to get a spyware infection but just to be safe, you'll want to download as much as you possibly can from these sites -and then you'll be golden.

3. Download and install Kazaa, Limewire, and any other file sharing software you can get your hands on. But that might not be enough so you'll want to make sure you share out your entire C: drive and keep the software running all day long so anyone can get into your files and upload them. Almost as important is to download anything and everything you can get your hands on through the sharing software.

4. If you see any email in your inbox that looks like spam, immediately open it up and any attachments that come along with it. If there are no attachments but there is a link to follow in the email, you'll want to click on that link ASAP and follow precisely any instructions you see on the webpage you land on. A quick note about this - if you do this at least 3 times per day, you can skip steps 1-3 as this is guaranteed to get you that elusive spyware infection.

5. Ignore any and all security updates that are released for your operating system - especially if you run Microsoft Windows. Windows comes loaded with bugs and security gaps so disregarding any attempts to close those gaps is precisely what you'll want to do because spyware loves security loopholes.

6. Avoid educating yourself at all on anything related to computer security and spyware. Why would you want to know about that stuff anyway? On top of that reading stinks.

7. Repeat steps 1 - 6 over and over again until you reach the point where your computer is completely unusable. I am talking about never ending popups, icons that fill up your entire desktop and performance that is so slow it takes 5 minutes for anything you click to actually perform the function you want.

There you have it - 7 absolutely fool proof ways that you can ensure you get yourself a really big and completely destructive spyware and/or adware and/or virus infection.

Do these things each and every day, especially without any form of antispyware or antivirus protection and you'll be well on your way to computer hell.