Are you searching for that special someone but still coming up empty? Are you tired of spending your nights alone, watching that same old movie with only a Coke and a bowl of popcorn to keep you company? Experience tells me that when you move from one end of the pendulum to the other, you will eventually swing back to the center and find your match there. Let me explain.



Two options stare you in the face: you can start looking in a new place for romance, or you can quit looking altogether.

Choose the first option. Start looking somewhere new if romance continues to run from you. Consider alternative forms of dating, like online dating if you've not already gone there. If you've exhausted your online options, then take off those slippers and put on your dress shoes, because you need to get out in the real world more. Involve yourself in the world around you by taking more classes, going to more parties, and involving yourself in something community oriented that piques your interest. Engage accomplices by asking your friends to keep their eyes open for good matches.

Consider changing your approach to relating and finding romance. If you've hogged the conversation in the past, try opening your ears to listen more. If you avoid eye contact, focus on keeping those peepers up during the date. If your wardrobe looks like a spinster's, then consult a good fashion magazine and update your closet.

Someone wise once said that if you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you're getting. So test the boundaries! Move from one end of the edge to the other and you might just find new and fun experiences as well as dates in your path.

You say you've tried all that? You've tried online dating and community classes and you've spiced up your wardrobe and sought out extremes, but still you find yourself alone with that ever staling popcorn. You're tired of looking, and you're tired of waiting.

Then take a break. Don't just quit, but take a break. The best things happen when you're not trying to find them, right? Isn't that what people say? It's true, you know.

"That's too easy," you say. "You say it, but can you do it? How can I stop looking for something that I want so badly."

Trust me. You can do it. Give yourself time. Do it by jumping into activities that you feel passionate about. Basically, do what you love. Focus on having fun.

And as you do this, you will find yourself finding meaning in life. While you're not trying to forget about the possibility of romance, you're making the best of the life you've got. Pour yourself into doing the things you enjoy. Just because you do this doesn't mean you've given up on romance. But instead, you've given up on the powerful need for a relationship. Do what you love, and what you want will follow.