"I have a male friend whom appears to like me. I cant help but smile in his presence and while he looks at me inetnsely and is alwasy there for me he never makes an approach in a romatic way. I know he is attracted to me as he was my first boyfriend years ago. One night we spent a night on the pull out couch togethr and he seemed very uncomfortable ( yet is the town stud).he nervously stroked my hair but did nothing more..can you explain why he would have been so nervous and why he doesnt make a move opr declare feelings but will make little suggestions which I feel cheap as they are a subtle hint to let me ,know he is up for bedding me (when really I want more)"



Clearly there is more than one issue here but it all seems to stem from the main question: "What to do when you like your best friend and you think he likes you?"

Here was my response:

First of all, he may be afraid that the feelings are not mutual and that he will risk :

1) making a fool of himself

2) the friendship that you two have

As to why he makes cheap suggestions about getting you into bed:

1)He may feel more comfortable making these half joking remarks. If you say no, he can always pretend that he was just kidding around.

Now here is the decision you have to make:

Do you want to risk losing the friendship over what may or may not turn out to be a relationship? Especially if you two have tried before and it did not work out. Think back. Was being together really so great back then? If it was then why did you break up?

Really think of that before you make any decisions. After all, the best way to lose a best friend is to date them. The rare case works out but most of the time the things that you tolerate in a best friend are the nail in the coffin for a relationship.

On the other hand, if you are fairly certain that the feelings are mutual and you do want to give it a shot, then get it out in the open. If you are misreading his signals, yes things may be a bit akward for a bit, but if you are truly friends he will get over it.