Since most mesothelioma victims die within a year of diagnosis,friends and well wishers of the relatives of the mesothelioma victims are often at loss at how they can help the grieving relatives of the mesothelioma victims who have passed on.This article gives some very useful advice for friends of such relatives.
Most people feel awkward when trying to comfort someone who is grieving. We just do not know what to say or do. These following suggestions can guide you:
What should you say?
-Do not deny the situation,acknowledge the reality of the present situation. Example: "I heard that your_____ died." Use the word "died." This shows that you are more open to talk about how the person really feels.
-Show and express your genuine concern. Example: "I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you."
-Be genuine in your communication and don't hide your feelings. Example: "I'm not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care."
-Offer your support. Example: " IF there is anything i can do to help please let me know."
-Ask how the bereaved person feels. Don't assume you know how they will feel on any given day.
What to do
-Be there. Even if you do not know what to say, your presence alone at such times can be very comforting.
-Listen and give support. But do not try to force someone to talk if they are not ready to talk.
-Be a good listener. Accept whatever feelings the person expresses rather than telling them how they should cope with the loss. Never tell them how they should feel.
-Give reassurance without minimizing the loss. Try to have empathy with the person without assuming you know exactly how they feel.
-Offer to help with errands, shopping, housework, cooking, driving, or yard work. Sometimes people want help and sometimes they don't. Although they may not take you up on your offer, remember they are not rejecting you or your friendship.
-Avoid telling the person "You're so strong." This puts pressure on the person to hold in feelings and keep acting "strong."
-Continue to offer support even after the first shock wears off. Recovery takes a long time.
-It may help to check in with the bereaved on anniversaries of the death, marriage, and birthday of the deceased, since those can be especially difficult.
If the grieving person begins to abuse alcohol or drugs, neglects personal hygiene, develops physical problems, or talks about suicide, it may be a sign of complicated grief or depression. You or someone close to them should suggest to them to get professional help.
If you notice that the grieving person is showing suicidal tendencies,make sure you do not leave the person alone to be by himself/herself.Make sure that the person gets help from his/her doctor or the nearest emergency room as soon as possible. someone is thinking about suicide, do not leave him or her alone. If that is not possible, call 911. If you can safely do so, remove firearms and other tools for suicide.
