Ask any single adult what qualities he or she wants in a spouse or partner, and one of the first answers is always “a sense of humor.” Yet relationships and most marriages easily lose the early excitement after living together for several years.



Healthy relationships require laughter. Sex is better; everything is better sprinkled with laughter, be it a chuckle, a belly laugh, or an amused smile.

Humor also motivates better results without resentment. For example, instead of nagging your loved one for leaving dirty clothes on the floor or dishes in the sink, write a silly poem and stick it on the bathroom mirror.

Follow one important groundrule: humor should never belittle another person or be at the other person’s expense. Here are a few ideas of how to inject more humor into the special relationship you want to last forever.

  •  Ask your spouse to post a list of outrageous birthday wishes. (You do the same.)

  •  Use travel time on trips to recall fun/ funny incidents about your lives together.

  •  Create awards (or improvise a medal on a fancy ribbon) to present when the spouse overcomes a touch challenge.

  •  Select each other’s underwear!

  •  Together, list the people who make you both laugh the most, and see them more often. Do the same with movies.

  •  Go to lunch and exchange lists of small, daily pleasures.

  •  Give each other small or silly treats.

  •  Create a list of offbeat occasions for giving silly treats.

  •  Go away for a weekend. Explore.

  •  Take on volunteer opportunities together. Try it once, at least.

  •  Go where others are having fun.

  •  Select perfume or cologne for each other…(pick one for your sweetheart that drives YOU crazy!)

  •  Identify your favorite, edible treats from your childhood then center a date around eating it.

  •  Create a scavenger hunt for each other…hiding clues with a present at the end. Photograph the process.

  •  Go bowling or play putt-putt golf, and whisper sexy secrets in the middle of the game.

  •  Practice giving each other very specific compliments on acts of love or service.

  •  Schedule dates in bookstores. Share with each other what delights you. End with a dessert or ice cream.

  •  Flirt with each other at parties or other social events. Make eye contact, and compliment each other publicly.

  •  Order take out and announce a “feed each other” meal. No cheating.

  •  Schedule dates at the fair, circus, zoo, or theme park. Do this at least once a year. Be sure to eat some junk food from your childhood while you are there.

  •  Have a caricature drawn of the two of you…frame it.

  •  Dress up in costumes and take pictures…even if it’s just headgear. Make a scrapbook of these.

  •  Look at each other’s high school annual together… or family album.

Joel Goodman, founder of The Humor Project, reminds us that, “laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” Remember this with daily doses, weekly sprinkles, and monthly dollops and your relationship will flourish.