Let's face it: most of us aren't exactly sound gurus. We don't really understand what Hertz means as a measure, and we don't know the darn things work. Nor do we care, quite frankly. I have better things to do than spend months studying physics just so that I'm able to make a lightly better choice than I otherwise would've in choosing my new set of ceiling speakers. I mean, come on, it's as if these manufacturers think we're frickin' Einstein. I bet they don't even know what they're talking about when they print up their catalogues. They probably just tell their publishing department: “Just make it as confusing as possible, so that the consumer gets tired and decides to just buy the most expensive speakers, because he doesn't know any other way to make a decision.” Do you think I'm a conspiracy theorist?



The truth is, I'm going to tell you how to choose your ceiling speakers, and it's really not that complicated. First of all, you have to look at the frequency response that's indicated on the package. You don't have to understand it. Just look at it and compare it to others. This way you can get a relative evaluation of the various merits of the ceiling speakers that you're actually considering. “Okay, this one is the worst and this one is the best. So these ones must be in the middle somewhere.” That's it. Don't let the salesman jibber jabber your ear off.

Number two, get a good feel for how much power these babies can pump out. If it's too much it'll shatter your wife's vase collection, and that's not good. This number will be given to you in watts, and it tells you the capacity to simply blow you away. Keep that in mind. How much power do you really want? Is it really giving you a good return on your money after a certain point if you're just going to be sitting in a dinky little room while you listen to these ceiling speakers.

Finally, the third thing I want you to try to get a handle on is the decibel level. This number will tell you all about the speakers' sensitivity. No, it doesn't have feelings. It refers to how good the speaker is at holding and handling its power input. It's like when you're playing that game where you have to carry an egg on a spoon. The most sensitivity wins! The only thing you have to watch out for in your purchasing here is that you don't go overboard on decibels vs. power. You can only make use of so many decibels given a certain amount of wattage. More than that and you're just wasting your money. It won't do a thing at all.

There! I told you that it was easier than the big speaker companies like Crutchfield or Bose make it sound. Remember, they are great engineers and scientists, but they didn't get their degrees in English. Or marketing, for that degree! So when you go out to choose your ceiling speakers, don't let go of common sense. You basically just have to compare the three numbers I told you about, and make sure that they're all complementing each other, and that you're not paying for something that is actually not going to give you any more bang for your buck.