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How To Not Date A Dog

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Most people make a common mistake in this situation. Instead of going directly to the dog – I'm not talking about lurching at the dog so it bites you – but instead of putting your hand out and going directly to the dog and talking to the dog and getting to know it, people will just make a passive comment about the dog in a monotone voice. “I like your dog.”



I'm a dog owner, and if somebody walks by me and says, “nice dog” in a monotone voice, I'll respond to them in a monotone voice, “thank you.” And that's it.

The proper way to meet me when I'm walking my dog (or meet anybody when they have a dog) is to go directly to the dog. As a dog owner, every person has to pass the dog test anyway!

I'm not dating anybody who doesn't like Daphne, plain and simple. Daphne sleeps with me every night, and she hangs out with me all day long in the office. She even goes with me to appointments. If you don't like six-year-old Black English Labradors that are sweet and loving, then I don't really want you in my life!

So, when I'm walking down the street and someone stops me and says, “oh my god, your dog is so beautiful, can I pet her?” I will stop and I will let somebody pet her. Daphne is a pet slut! She loves to be pet no matter what.

If I can tell that someone is interested in my dog then I know that they are interested in meeting me – or maybe they just want to date my dog, who knows. That might be a great story: date my dog! I can see that TV show now.

But what I tell people all the time is that if you see someone who you are attracted to walking with a dog, stop them and say, “man, your dog is beautiful. What's your dog's name?”

The person will say, “my dog's name is Daphne,” and you can say, “cool name. What made you name her Daphne?” Or you could ask, “what made you get a Lab?”

There's always a story behind it. Whenever anybody asks me why I got Daphne, I look at them and ask, “do you really want to know?” and they say, “absolutely.” I'll tell them the story about how I drove all over the state of Washington looking at English Labs – I must have driven 500 miles before I finally found Daphne.

Daphne was the last dog I saw that day. I was so tired from driving all day long that Daphne looked like a midget dog. I didn't think Daphne was very pretty either, and she's probably one of the most gorgeous dogs in the world. I was just so tired, and I had been to so many different breeders, that by the time I saw this little dog I didn't even know what I wanted anymore.

But Daphne knew exactly what she wanted. The minute she saw me, she followed me everywhere. I took her out to the backyard and she followed me. When I stopped, she stopped. I walked inside and she followed. When I sat down to talk to the breeder, she sat down. There was no way that this dog was going to let me leave without taking her home.

Unfortunately I was so tired at the end of the day that I told the breeder that I would think about it. The breeder said that someone else was coming the next day at ten o'clock. (The breeder was quite a salesperson, by the way, because Daphne had been there for about seven months. Daphne had been loved by a couple, but then they got divorced and the guy couldn't keep her anymore and gave her back to the breeder.)

So I went home, and all I thought about that night was this little dog – this little Lab following me around. She was exactly what I wanted. Allison told me that I had to get this dog, this dog loves me, she followed me and she picked me out. I really believe that dogs can pick you out, people can pick you out – it's an energy thing.

So I couldn't sleep at all, and I ended up waking up the next morning at seven. I looked at Allison and said I hadn't slept at all, do you think it's too early to call the breeder on a Sunday?

Allison reminded me that the breeder probably had to get up to feed the dogs, so I called her up. I asked her if I could come back down to her house.

I went back to her house, and Daphne greeted me immediately and followed me all over the house. And Daphne and I have been together ever since.

So I can share that story with people. If I meet a woman and she really wants to know that story, I will tell her that story with animation and passion.

Meeting with somebody with a dog is very simple, because they can talk about the things that they love. It also shows that someone is really interested in me – in a number of different ways. They are not only interested in meeting Daphne, but also in getting to know me.

So the proper way to meet someone with a dog is to ask questions! Get the person talking about what they love (their dog) and show interest. Play with the dog, pet the dog, and I see a good threesome coming: you, him or her, and the dog!

It's that simple.
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