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How To Show Respect

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Showing your respect to a grieving family may include sending cards, gifts, or even a sympathy gift basket. Sympathy gift baskets can show the family members how much you care and there are many ways to be creative with the gift and choose special items that can help them heal from their emotional pain.



Some of our close family friends recently lost a parent in an accident. It was difficult to reach them while they traveled to the funeral, so we decided to send them a sympathy gift basket. The condolence gift basket was presented to them at the hotel they were staying in, and imagine their surprise when they learned that we had sent something across the country especially for them! It was an extra special gift since we were able to add a handwritten note and pick out the gifts ourselves.

A sympathy gift basket can be made of flowers, balloons, snacks, treats, and note cards. We chose to include gourmet nuts and sweet treats, as well as a few small books and heartfelt note cards for a special touch. A sympathy gift basket can also be made up of flowers; showing sympathy with white or yellow flowers is perfect for pulling together a memorable gift and works well in a bereavement gift basket.

Periods of grieving and emotions can be overwhelming for most people, and we were able to express our best wishes with a condolence gift basket. A bereavement gift basket can helped to cheer them up, and made them feel a little more light-hearted and relaxed. It may have helped to ease the pain of the situation. For children experiencing loss, a sympathy gift basket can be especially valuable; during the turbulent emotional times, children can benefit from soft plush toys, small games, and even their favorite snack foods. The couple that received our condolence gift basket were very thankful to have some treats for the children in the family as well. Putting together a few valuable tokens of appreciation and thoughtful gifts helped them improve their mood and get through the funeral in a more positive state of mind.

When searching for the gifts, we found that a bereavement gift basket or condolence gift basket can also include a combination of candles, fresh fruit, relaxation gifts, or even gourmet snacks. We considered putting together some of our own home-baked goods for a sympathy gift basket, and baked some of the family's favorite treats and snacks to add to the package. Tea and coffee are another valuable addition to a condolence gift basket. These can be purchased from a gourmet food store or boutique, or even online.

A bereavement gift basket does not have to be very elaborate to send a positive message. You might consider adding small gifts such as a notebook or journal so the recipient can write their thoughts down during their grieving period. Another addition to the condolence gift basket may be some relaxation music or CDs; many families who are grieving lose track of time during the stressful and emotional time, and simply playing soothing music can help everyone manage their emotions better.

Adding a handwritten note to your condolence gift basket or bereavement gift basket is the finishing touch for your gift. The family that received our sympathy gift basket were very touched by the gesture, and just showed some respect for the grieving family after their loss. A gift basket can help bring forward some happiness during troubling times, and gave us a creative way to express our best wishes.
How To Show Respect
As a commissioned officer, you outrank all warrant officers and all enlisted Soldiers including Noncommissioned Officers. That said, if you go around as a second lieutenant acting like you own the show, and order your experienced NCOs to do stupid stuff just because you outrank them, you deserve what you get.

Most second lieutenants' act cocky to make up for the fact they don't know much, and are at best nervous, and often scared to death to suddenly be in charge. If you act cocky, you will be sorely treated by your NCOs, and other unit experts. They will give you plenty of rope, and let you hang yourself. If you ask your NCOs' advice during private planning sessions, and then discuss the decision you plan to make, so you learn from them, but you make the final decision, then you will do better.

Everyone's leadership style varies, but a team building and consensus style during planning, can go a long way to getting the respect of your experienced NCOs. If you get their respect, you will be in charge. But you have to earn it; you cannot demand it, just because you outrank them. They will respect your rank, but not you. Under those circumstances the only thing you will learn is failure.

An NCO cannot "order" a commissioned officer around. If the officer allows that, he has abdicated his authority. Does a captain ask his senior NCOs for advice? You better believe it! NCOs are your experts on Soldier training and welfare; warrant officers are your experts on technical issues. You must learn who you can trust, and who may need more guidance, but you must use them for guidance and execution. You cannot do it all yourself.

About your first year, as a new second lieutenant, you will attend the basic officer's course for your specialty. That can take anywhere from 3 months to a year depending on how technical it is. That is why you are "not in charge of anything" for a year. The OBC trainers are usually senior NCOs in your field, and they are "in charge" during OBC. If you listen to them with respect, they will treat you with respect and help you learn how to be a good junior officer. If you are arrogant, expect to be ignored, and therefore learn very little.

My experience as a second lieutenant was a great OBC with terrific professional NCOs that helped me learn my Branch (Chemical) and how to be a good officer and handle being in charge. My first job was as a platoon leader and I had high responsibility immediately. I had to prepare my unit to deploy to the National Training Center at Fort Irwin. I planned with my NCOs and asked the 1st Sergeant for advice, but in the end the load and movement orders were mine. And the unit executed them. I had responsibility for 147 Soldiers and $3 Million worth of vehicles and equipment on that move.

Please don't believe the negative rumors you hear. Try to keep your ego in line, then listen and learn. Use your team in the problem solving and planning stages. Then make decisions when they need to be made, and don't vacillate. Treat all your Soldiers with respect, even the goof-offs. But punish the goof-offs appropriately. If you do, you will earn well deserved respect, and you and your unit will go far.
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•How To Show Respect, by Jake Vektor
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Both Jake Vektor & Victor Epand are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

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