It's an unfortunate reality that extramarital affairs are so rampant these days, but it is a reality, nonetheless. When you have that "gut feeling" that your spouse is seeing somebody else, or at least talking to somebody else -- that is the time to take action and either disprove, or validate, your feelings. Before you confront your spouse, though -- one of the first things that you should do is look and listen.

Look and listen -- identifying traits of an unfaithful spouse

An extramarital affair can take on a few different forms -- person-to-person contact that includes physical intimacy, casual person-to-person relationships that are purely emotional, and purely emotional relationships with no physical contact, which are generally starting points from relationships developed over the phone, through the mail, or over the internet. Regardless of the type of relationship that may be happening, however, there are certain changes that may take place with your spouse, which could be indicative of an extramarital affair.

For instance, if your spouse is engaged in an extramarital affair:

- They may spend a lot of time on the computer, generally in a secretive way.

- They may start to become more distant from you -- they no longer share their feelings, concerns, or hopes -- they tend to "clam up" instead.

- They become indifferent. If you and your spouse disagree about something, and you used to have arguments, but now your spouse acts as if they do not care -- this could be a sign as well.

- They may start to take an out-of-the-blue interest in their appearance. Maybe they start up a gym membership, start jogging, purchase new cloths, or start to wear more makeup.

- They may spend more time at work -- either working late, working weekends, or off-schedule trips to the office for ambiguous reasons.

Honestly, while the signs of a cheating spouse are abundant, these signs can sometimes be misleading -- there could be any number of reasons why your spouse is acting "suspicions", and it may not have anything to do with them being involved in an extramarital affair. Any one of life's circumstances can cause us to act differently, even getting older. For this reason, before you confront your spouse on something as serious as extramarital infidelity, you should have absolute proof that your spouse is, in fact, cheating on you.

There are alternatives to private investigators, such as online investigation services, which will allow a third party to track your spouse's online activities. This way, if you simply cannot shake the feeling that your spouse may be cheating on you, at least you can have the proof you need to confront them should the need arise.

If you decide to hire a professional private investigator to uncover Internet infidelity be sure to hire one that is recognized as an expert. This is a relatively new field of investigation and requires an expert. The best way to find an Internet investigator is to use the Internet. Try top do a Google search on the PI, his compnay name and web site name to see if they are recognized as an authority on email tracing, computer forensics and infidelity.