A friend and her daughter were visiting me at my apartment. In the front entrance of the building there is a high stoop, about one foot high in an area. The little girl assessed the place, and decided to jump. The way she had jumped caused her to fall forward and down right on her face. Once I knew that she was okay, I started to quietly speak to the little girl about her landing, so that she could do it better the next time. Her mother, freaked out, and was screaming at me for letting her, picked up her daughter, and wiped away the blood, and was putting out all sorts of negative thoughts and creating more fear in her daughter. My friend left us for a moment, and I talked to the little girl. ?



You know, I saw what you had tried to do, You were very brave, I know that you got a little scared, but it was a good try, next time you have to make sure that you clear the wall with your feet, and get your feet underneath you, so that you land on your feet.? She looked at me with peaceful understanding, and a new awareness. She knew that I was not upset at her for trying something new, and I was giving her a tool so that she would not get hurt again when she tried it after that. Right there I knew she got it.

Managing thoughts: To cope, children also need to know how to manage their thoughts. Let them know that by changing their focus, from something that is causing stress or discomfort to something that is joyful, they will immediately feel better. If something is overwhelming to them, help them to break it down into smaller units. Just because they have a thought about something doesn't mean that the thought can't be changed or adjusted.

Open communication: Children feel most comfortable when they can talk about what they are feeling or thinking about any subject. Nothing should be off limits, they should be able to ask questions, and get solid answers, they should be able to tell you anything without punishment, and let you know about something that is happening to them, without being afraid, or disturbed that you will be upset with them or that you will not love them. Sometimes the time and place for discussion is not appropriate, but as soon as you are able, take them to a safe and quiet place and let them talk. Let them know that you are going to listen to them fully at that time. Make a commitment and do so.

Respect: You teach respect to children by example. If you don't want to be laughed at for your thoughts or your actions, don't laugh at them and don't mock them, be careful of your words. Don't call them stupid, an idiot, or unintelligent. Remember they are just a reflection of what they were taught, and what they learned. copyright 2006 Yoga Kat