When Pamela Roch started entering female menopause, one of her most pressing concerns was how her husband, Chuck, would deal with her "change of life". So they sat down to share their concerns, talking long into the night. It was this conversation that was the genesis of Pamela's popular lecture series, in which she helps both women and men deal with the difficulties of menopause.



According to Pamela's work with thousands of people of both sexes, that the two sexes have entirely different fears about menopause. Men tend to worry more about the physical and behavioral affects on their partner. They tend to think more about mood swings and a possible reduced sex drive. A few men are also of the mistaken belief that women go "crazy" during menopause.

Menopause is a trying time and presents several worries and concerns to a woman. Women worry about the emotional effects of menopause; concerns also involve wondering whether they will receive the emotional support they need, from the people who are most important to them. Pamela found that, specifically, women worry about abandonment and/or a refusal to be supportive from their husband. She also found that there is a three-pronged approach that most couples can benefit from.

The first thing to know about menopause for couples is the symptoms that it will cause, as well as what it does not do to the body. Dr. Susan Franklin, one of Pamela's lecture instructors, asserts that most people overestimate the potential effects of menopause. "We hear about many popular culture myths about menopause," states Franklin. "We mostly assume that we will becoming raging witches, with constant hot flashes and hair on our chins". In reality, according to Franklin, most only experience more mild and short lasting effects of menopause.

Second, couples need to receive some form of family therapy in order to assist them in sharing their fears and worries with one another. In Pamela's workshops, small group therapy sessions are offered, led by a board-certified therapist. In these sessions, men and women are encouraged to talk to one another and share their concerns and articulate their needs. Sex therapy is also useful to increase libido - often a problem in female menopause.

Third, according to Pamela, most couples will benefit from some medical treatment to deal with the more nagging or problematic symptoms of menopause. This will differ from woman to woman, but some women can benefit from mild medications to treat hot flashes, unwanted hair growth, and mood swings. Low doses of hormones and/or antidepressants are sometimes a great help for women struggling with menopause, and can be tapered off of later if they are no longer needed.