The necessity to return to a normal, active life is unavoidable no mater if we talk about shopping and personal problems, or about evenings, in case you return to a social life similar to the period preceding the pregnancy. Subsequently to the beginning period of the relation mother – child when they were inseparable, gradually there is felt the need to return to older habits that restore the feeling of normality.



The feeling of guilt should be kept under control, especially if everything is all right, for the equilibrium of both mother and child. Gradually, both ought to learn to move away from each other, and the child will understand that the mother does not exclusively belong to him.

When there are no close friends or family who can come to take care of the child, the only solution is to appeal to a baby-sitter.

It is always better to entrust the child, especially for the first time, to a person you already know, or to a person who was recommended to you and you can trust completely. Maybe during the previous weeks a young woman helped you with housekeeping? In this case, resort to her: the baby already knows her, which is an advantage.

If you do not know the person who will come in your absence, ask him / her to come the day before, in order to see how he / she behaves with the baby and to make his / her acquaintance.

It has no importance whether there is a girl or a boy, a younger person or an older one. What is essential is not the experience he / she has with children, but the goodness of the heart and the common sense. What matters is to find a trustworthy, sure person, who loves kids and makes kind gestures.

What you should do.

Give the person a few advices to serve him / her as guidelines.

Prepare in advance all the things he / she will need: feeding bottle, milk, water, diapers, cream etc. In this way, you will avoid him / her opening all your wardrobes in order to find clean pyjamas.

Ask the person to come 15 minutes before your leaving for you to have enough time to explain everything calmly and not to go in a hurry.

Settle him / her: if needed, present the baby to him / her and show him / her the main rooms of the house (bathroom, child's room, kitchen, dining room...). Show him / her where there are arranged the spare bedclothes, the diapers or the powder milk.

Inform him / her, if needed in writing, if the baby's habits must be followed exactly: medicines, special care, bath, feeding bottle...

Write as well the telephone number or numbers where you can be found and useful numbers, for instance that of the doctor, neighbors, emergency numbers or the number of a close family.

Finally, go wherever you promised to go. If you modify your program, let him / her know and go back when you promised.

If you do all these things, you can go lightheartedly!

What about the separation?

Warn the child that you will be absent for a while and say good bye to him / her. Even if the child does not understand the exact meaning of the words, your voice will calm him / her down. Say good bye before leaving.

The baby is more sensitive to the anxiety of the mother than to the fact that she leaves it for a few hours under the care of another person; for this reason, once the decision has been taken and everything has been organized very well, go lightheartedly and enjoy yourself.

If everything gets on well, call that baby-sitter next time as well: he / she will get used to the baby and the baby with him / her.