In this fantasy, we're a group of explorers from Mars, in human form, who have landed in Washington, D.C. to understand the political system of this continent.



What would be our conclusions about American politics were we to come down fresh, understanding very little of the political system?

We would understand immediately that there are purported to be 'two sides' (the validity of which is up for debate), and the two sides are represented by colors and animals--red or blue, elephant or donkey.

Well, are there really only two sides? Of course not. That's absurd.

The people are given two options because three or four options would confuse them. The fringe candidates/parties aren't allowed to compete with various reasons given why they should not be allowed.

So the two sides have common interests, disliking each other, but fearing more one of the third or fourth party's ideas and so they work in cahoots.

Oh, and it gets better...

They have an even bigger common enemy: the media. The media supposedly reports the activities of both sides so they make more money from advertisers.

They're sort of the devil's advocate, but not really because their loyalty is to whomever is in power and whomever owns the media outlet.

So aside from the fringe candidates and the media, these two groups have even more exciting and titillating enemies in common.

Prostitutes. Most recently Louisiana Senator David Vitters who gives an awful lot of lip service to abstinence only sex ed, was identified by the DC madam and the Canal Street Madam as being a client.

The under aged boys (U.S. Representative Mark Foley had ironic hypocrisy with one of these in the form of a Congressional page. Where once he was known as a crusader against child abuse and exploitation, it turned out to be a cover);

Women. Boy are women ever a problem for politicians. There was this one incident, maybe 'the media' mentioned it once or twice. . . there was a young woman in a blue dress, an intern of some sort, and the president, Bill Clinton had a little thing for her. . .

Other enemies to both camps. . .

Closeted homosexuality. The real problem here is the 'closeted' part. And the 'lewd conduct' part that comes up as a result of the 'closeted' part.

Extramarital affairs. The list is too long. And really, is this even an issue people care about anymore?

And women who don't like being groped or harassed (The Terminator).

Miscellaneous enemies: crack cocaine, voter fraud, blah, blah, blah.

Blue, red, elephant, donkey, they seem to want to make all the laws and then break them.

In our research as Martian anthropologists, we'd have to conclude that some form of perversion or criminal record is mandatory for political candidates.

We'd also have to conclude that the non-politicians, the ones who vote (or don't vote), have such a short attention span that really, it doesn't much matter. It's football season and there's a new season of "The Biggest Loser" and it's back to school time and the kids need new backpacks. And before you know it, it's the holidays again.

Jumping into this little fantasy world sometimes gives us a fresh perspective. It's all about framing. Putting a new lens on life.

Try it with your life and your persuasion. See how it goes. Tell others about it, tell me about it on this blog. Create a discussion, invite your friends and colleagues to join the discussion here. Lord knows we need to step back from the craziness every once in a while and talk to each other intelligently about what we observe.