If you are coming up 40, you need to start considering how you want to mark the occasion. This is an important birthday and you've got to do something special, whether it be a wild party, a more peaceful gathering, a trip abroad or a day out. In the past ten years or so, a huge number of people I know have turned 40, and, if you are looking for inspiration, I hope you'll find some here.

My sister Olivia is a connoisseuse of wine and for her 40th we organised a wine-tasting party at my house. An expert brought some bottles and talked us through the 'legs' and the 'nose' of each one. Needless to say, we didn't spit anything out - but we did learn quite a lot and, as our present to her, my husband and I sent Olivia on a wine-tasting tour of the Abruzzo region of Italy.

My husband's best friend had a murder mystery party. Josh is shy and doesn't like large gatherings but he wanted to do something different from the usual get-together-and-chat with his three or four close friends. We all came in costume and stayed in character until the end of the evening, when the murderer was exposed. A bit of acting can be a lot of fun.

My cousin's wife was born on 31st October, which made choosing a theme for her 40th birthday quite easy. She decorated her house with bats, spiders, ghosts, skeletons and pumpkins, and we all wore Hallowe'en costumes and Gothic gear. Everywhere was dimly lit and we played a 'spooky' game of hide and seek (actually, we couldn't stop laughing as we all kept tripping over). Later, we bobbed apples and ate 'body parts', which my cousin and his wife had made from various disturbing-to-feel foods.

About three months before she turned 40, my friend Karen discovered that her partner was seeing another woman. Her confidence took a bit of a knock and, to build it back up, we arranged a lingerie party for her birthday. We all needed a bit to drink before really got into the spirit of trying on sexy underwear but then we had a great laugh!

The idea of giving a dinner party for twenty guests fills me with horror but my friend Rob did this in the ideal way: he hired a professional chef to come to his house and cook for us, in front of us. Rob is a real foodie and having all this sumptuous fare rustled up in his very own kitchen was a dream come true.

A magician is an excellent addition to any party. At my friend Jason's 40th birthday party, the magician took my ring and made it vanish. A second later, without him having moved at all, it appeared tied on to his shoelace!

In a few weeks it will be my own 40th birthday and I've decided to spend it in New York, with my husband. Although I've never been to America at all, I have a feeling that the Big Apple is an ideal place to wake up 40. We'll do loads of shopping, take in a show on Broadway and visit all the city's hotspots - and cool spots. All this will give me a burst of energy to carry me into my fifth decade.