The more fear is fed the bigger it grows. The bigger it gets, the more overwhelming and devouring it becomes. As it inflates, fear bullies us into feeling too vulnerable and victimized to do anything about it.



Like most bullies, fear does not have any real power. Though loud and intimidating, fear is powerless to do anything but scream in our ear and shake up our system. Fear only has power to the extent that we allow it to run our lives.

When you overfeed fear it becomes obese. Nothing else can fit in your house not love, not happiness, not friendship - Nothing. You can barely think as terror reigns over your estate of mind and body. What can you do?

First realize that fear is a built in alarm system that comes with the house. You cannot get rid of it. Put fear on a low negativity diet to get it back to a reasonable size. I'm not suggesting a starvation diet. I am suggesting balancing a reasonable serving of speculative, negative news with heavy servings of reality check.

Fear will also feed on the negativity of others. If you can't get close to the negativity without feasting on it, then cut back on your contact. As you feel stronger, you can begin to influence those conversations. I'm reminded of Socrates, who when confronted with gossip would ask three questions. First, "Is what you're going to tell me true?" If the answer is no, then he would ask, "Is what you're going to tell me good?" If that answer is no, he would ask a third question, "Is what you're going to tell me useful?" If the person said no to all three questions, Socrates would ask, "Why would you tell me something that is not true, good or useful?"

When the alarm system in your house turns into a raving bully, you may need outside forces to get back in control. Find an experienced professional counselor or coach who can support you in confronting the bully of fear and resetting your alarm system.

Be aware! Fear is in the House with a ravenous appetite. Don't allow it to feast at the table of scarcity, negativity, anger, resentment and powerlessness. Limit its diet to low servings of negativity balanced with enriched reality check. Supplement with support as needed. Bon appétit!