When we were newlyweds, I didn't make dinner until John got home. A few years later life and children got in the way and I kept his dinner warm. Now if John comes home late, his dinner is defrosting to room temperature.



When we were newlyweds, we surprised each other with love notes and little gifts. We still leave love notes for each other; but now they're about things we'd love for the other person to do for us - like fix the dripping faucet or pick up the dry cleaning. The little gifts have changed too. Instead of being a heart-shaped charm or a coffee mug that says, "You're hot", the gifts are a new brand of pain pills or a roll of postage stamps.

John and I used to dance to music we heard in our heads; we stayed up to see the sunrise; we followed our hearts - without having to hire a sitter. Now we hear schedules in our heads; we see the sunrise because we have trouble sleeping; and instead of following our hearts, we follow diets.

At this point in our togetherness time is passing too quickly. That's the bad news. The good news is our "verbal differences of opinion" pass quickly too.

Couples today are different. They're waiting longer to tie the knot. They're waiting longer to have children. That's good. You can never be too sure about things as unsure as marriage and children.

When I was a little girl, I was told undying unions were made in heaven. Yeah right, but they require lots of down-to-earth, hard work. When I see what's happened to couples we know, it's obvious that an easy relationship is a divorce waiting to happen.

Because of the increasing number of divorces, John and I celebrate our anniversaries by ourselves and refuse to feel guilty about not including the children. Our children haven't kept us together. We've stayed together in spite of them.

Our anniversary is the only time during the year we exchange gifts. On our birthdays and Christmas we try to give each other peace of mind. However, the best anniversary gift is free. It's our having given each other another year of marriage and having loved through it.