I'll admit that I have been attracted to my children's teachers. I've gotten dressed up in a flirty outfit before parent's night. Being a busy single working Mom I used to joke that the only way I'd meet a guy is if I backed over him in the parking lot. It wasn't very funny because it was true. I was so busy running between the office and taking the kids to soccer practice and games that there was no time to meet anyone new. So it shouldn't have been surprising when I found myself flirting with the soccer coach. For some of us single parents the only contact we have with other adults, outside a professional setting, comes from the teachers, coaches, and other authority figures in our children's lives. But is it a good idea to start up relationships with important people in our kids lives?



First of all, there are some people who are just off limits because it is a conflict of interest. For example, your child's current teacher is on the undateable list. Your kid spends as much, if not more, time with his teacher as he does with you. The collision of his academic and home lives would be uncomfortable. Imagine if on of your parents started dating your boss? You would worry if they were talking about you or what would happen if the relationship failed. It is a lot of stress to place on your child. The good news is that the ban only lasts for as long as your child is in that classroom. If you do feel an attraction just wait until the end of the school year. Dating your child's doctor is another bad idea since a bad ending to that relationship could mean having to find a new Pediatrician or else having some awkward annual checkups. A good guideline to keep in mind before starting on a romantic relationship with someone in your child's life is asking, “What is the worst case scenario?” If it means a substantial negative change in your child's life then it isn't worth going for.

But that still leaves a lot of possibilities. Other parents, coaches, volunteers and tutors are all dateable. A certain amount of trepidation on your child's part is to be expected whenever you start dating. But if the possibility of dating this particular person is causing your child an excessive amount of anxiety then it isn't a good idea. Your first priority is making sure your children are spared from extra stress. If you child is overly excited about the possibility of you dating someone in their life it can also be a warning sign that romance is a bad idea. Kids may create a fantasy in their mind of you and their favorite coach or best friend's parent getting married and living happily ever after. Of course that isn't usually how things end up. Most dating relationships don't last forever. But your child doesn't understand that and you don't want them to be crushed if you break up.

Just keep in mind that it is a great big world and you really are not limited just to the people you see on a daily basis. Break out of your funk by joining a social networking group with other people who share your hobbies or interests. Just be sure to avoid things like book clubs since they tend to be dominated by women. If you are looking for a guy start doing things that guys do. Take a class on home or automotive repair. Start becoming involved in spots or fantasy football leagues. Being the only woman in these mostly male groups makes it easy to meet new people. And there are always internet dating and networking sites available to expand your horizons.

There is nothing inherently awful about dating your child's teacher or coach. But it also isn't the ideal situation either. It unintentionally brings your child into the middle of your live life, which is something that neither of you want. Keeping your options open and trying to have friends and interests outside your children will make it more likely that you will find a partner outside of their life.