“Hey Sweetie, it's time to get ready to go to Daddy's for the weekend,” Sheila yelled to her eight-year old, Darcy, who was playing in her bedroom. She continued her internet research for a paper due Monday. She had gone back to school to try to retrain for a better job now that she was a single mom. Twenty minutes passed and she went in to check on Darcy who she found still playing. “Honey, I told you to get ready.” “OK.” Darcy said, with a shrug of her shoulders.” “Odd,” Sheila thought,”She's always flown around her room and been ready in about five minutes before…” She quickly dismissed the thought and she went back to her research.



This scene plays out hundreds of times a day. And it probably means nothing more than the child was engaged in play and didn't want to stop. But it could mean much more.

What Darcy might have asked was, “Honey why aren't you ready?” She might have heard this response, “I don't like going to Daddy's anymore.” To which Sheila might have asked, “Why?” Hopefully Darcy would have told her the real reason, “Daddy keeps leaving at night and after he comes back he acts funny.”

This is usually when the parent makes a phone call. Sometimes it's the custodial parent, sometimes the non custodial parent, who calls. Whichever, they have some reason to believe their child is unsafe when with the other parent. It may be drugs, alcohol, weapons, a new girlfriend/boyfriend who seems suspicious, molestation, or dozens of other scenarios. The profession calls them child welfare cases. And the parents want to find out if it is true and if so to obtain evidence.

In order to protect client privilege they should first contact their attorney, and have him or her contact a private investigator.

Some of the types of activities the investigator may perform include checking the new boyfriend for criminal history; performing surveillance on the dad to see if he's doing drug deals at night; watching the mom to see if she's driving drunk with the child in the car; making sure the child is going to school every day; observing the child to see if he appears well-cared for; and generally making sure the child is safe. And if she's not, providing evidence the judge can use to correct the situation.

Pay attention to even the slightest change in your child's attitude toward your ex. Ask questions in a non-confrontive manner. Be relaxed and pick times when your child is receptive to this type of dialog.

The vast majority of parents do no harm to their kids and this is not to suggest you go on a “witch hunt.”

It just pays to be alert.