When you hear about someone who has cheated on a spouse, they normally will say, "I never meant for this to happen." While this is probably true to some point, they did allow the chance for it to happen. The only way it could happen is if the situation was right.
First you must keep in mind that men and women are very different. Men are a bit naive when it comes to what a woman is truly capable of. Women are planners, and if they are interested in a man they will find a way to weasel themselves into his life, married or not. They will find out where he eats, where he hangs out with his friends, and where he works out. She will keep finding reasons to be where you are when you are there. Most men think that this is a coincidence when in fact she is carefully stacking her cards to make a move. So the very first thing is don't be naive.
The most important thing to remember if you truly want to stay faithful, is to avoid situations and temptations. Don't even go there. If you feel an attraction to someone, that is completely normal, but stay away. There is no good that will come from that. Never be alone with that person, and if you have to be with her, do it in a group, preferably with your wife in tow. Then you can be sure nothing can happen. If someone lets on that they are interested in you- diffuse the situation immediately, be firm.
If you do not allow the situations to present themselves, then they will not. be sure to steer totally clear of even flirting, as this can give a woman the wrong idea.
Focus your energy on your marriage and if you are having marriage problems then seek out the help from a marriage counseling expert. An affair will only compound your problems, it wont make anything better.
It Doesn't Have To Happen
In the 70's and 80's, there was a great television show called ?Quincy.? This show revolved around a coroner who investigated deaths. Jack Klugman, a.k.a. Dr. Quincy, performed an autopsy on what appeared to be a death by natural causes and realized that the actual cause of death was murder. Once that determination was made, the rest of the show was focused on finding the bad guys and identifying the motive, not necessarily in that order.
Early in my career as a sales manager, I learned the importance of the education from lost sales. Where some err is that they use a lost sale as an opportunity to beat up a sales person. The sales person walks away defeated and angry. I never made losing a deal a habit, but it does happen. No one likes to talk about failure, but as Dr. Seuss says in The Places You'll Go, ?Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you?.
Three entities can learn important lessons from lost deals, in no particular order: the company, the sales manager, and the sales person. Inspired by the television show, I used the term ?Quincy? as the process to conduct an autopsy on the sale that went awry.
Not to be overly morbid, but the process begins with the sales person completing a report titled the ?Quincy Report? which provides an overview of the process, captures key data elements, and includes a narrative from the sales person's perspective. That report is then shared with a team, the Inquest team. This team, which is comprised of fellow sales people and other executives in the company, review the report and then participate in an Inquest conference call. During the call, the sales person presents the situation and fields questions from the team. The spirit of the call is to create a learning environment for the aforementioned three entities. This is not a forum to criticize the sales person. If a critique necessary, the sales manager handles that privately with their sales person.
Some of the information included in the report:
?How the lead was developed. Companies can learn by lead source where they are most and least effective. Sales managers can learn which sales people are best at handling particular types of leads.
?Length of buying process. Companies can learn the length of the cycle. Does the length of the process correspond to winning or losing the business? There is an old expression about time killing deals.
?Contact people with titles. Sales managers can see if the sales person was able to meet with the right level of contact for the sale.
?Description of the relationship with each contact person. While knowing who the sales person contacted is important, even more important is the relationship established with each. Sales managers can analyze the relationship aspects of the process. The two areas to measure for each contact person is their level of influence in making the buying decision and their level of commitment to your solution being adopted. Heavily influential buyers that are not heavily committed to your solution being adopted and the converse scenario are two of the main reasons deals are lost.
?To whom the sale was lost. Companies, sales managers, and sales people are always looking for competitive intelligence. It is important to know who is eating your lunch. Is there a trend? What are they doing that you are not? If you don't know a particular competitor is kicking sand in your face, you can't develop a strategy to defeat them.
?Reason why the sale was lost. Does your message need tweaking? Is your price consistent with the market? Is the offering compelling? Did they elect to do nothing?
Many don't necessarily think of electing to do nothing as a lost sale. However, losing to ?status quo? is ubiquitous in sales. Everyone can relate to losing a sale to this powerhouse of a competitor. Much can be learned from this loss, but few dig into the reasons for it. Is the solution off the mark? Is price the issue? Or is it positioning? If every sales person could find a way to defeat status quo, every company would enjoy record revenues.
Getting to the real reason for the lost sale is not always easy to do. First, buyers don't always tell sales people the reason for their decision. Second, sales people don't necessarily volunteer that they didn't do everything they could have in the process.
One effective way to get the real scoop is for the sales manager to contact the person who was most influential in the decision process. This is not a sales call, nor is it an attempt to reverse the decision. This call is positioned as the company's desire to always improve itself. As such, the sales manager asks for a five minute phone call to best understand where his company fell short. You will be surprised how many buyers are willing to have that conversation under those circumstances. Keep in mind, their company doesn't always win the business either. The call also leaves a favorable impression on the buyer so that the next time they are looking for a provider, you may have a leg up.
Scientists fail countless times in their quest to develop the next great thing for the world. It is the process of learning from the failures that leads to the greatest of inventions. Just as Quincy learned from his autopsies, companies, sales managers, and sales people need to learn from theirs.
Both Carol Ann & Lee Salz are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Carol Ann has sinced written about articles on various topics from Recreation and Sports, Family and Family. A lot of couples are considering as a way to avoid divorce. If you are having marital problems, go to. Carol Ann's top article generates over 22200 views. to your Favourites.
Lee Salz has sinced written about articles on various topics from Sales People, Finances and Sales and Negotiation. Lee B. Salz is President of Sales Dodo, LLC and author of ?Soar Despite Your Dodo Sales Manager.? He specializes in helping companies and their sales organizations adapt and thrive in the ever-changing world of business. Lee is available for keynote speak. Lee Salz's top article generates over 2400 views. to your Favourites.
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