You have decided to leave the organisation and people that you have known, maybe all your life, breaking connections with family and friends. You are now regarded as an XJW.



You have given up a life. So what now? How do you go about starting a new life? For many ex-witnesses this has proven to be extremely difficult. Even after making what seems to be the correct decision, many find themselves isolated and lonely.

Why is that so?

Surely all an ex brother or ex sister has to do is take up a hobby and make new friends. Ahh! If only it were that easy!

Just because you no longer attend a Kingdom Hall or preach from door-to door does not mean that you have been released from the Watchtower mentality, this way of thinking can cause many issues for those trying to forge friendships and relationships with those outside of the organisation. “You may leave the organisation, but the organisation may never leave you" seems all too real for many for many former Jehovah’s witnesses.

It may take many years to flush out certain ideas from one’s thinking that prevents them from fully integrating with society at large, and it is for this reason that those who were members of Jehovah’s Witnesses have problems moving on with their lives.

A by product of this is spending too much time in forums criticizing Watchtower leaders and/or Witness family members and associates.

Another difficult issue for many XJW’s is the subject of dating.

Many have found nothing but frustration in this area of life.

Why?

Simply because their belief system remains the same as if they were attending the Kingdom Hall. Their attitude puts them in potential conflict with their perspective partner and consequently leads to an unfulfilled relationship. In fact many ex witnesses even go to the lengths of hiding the fact that they were members out of fear or embarrassment, only to find themselves exposed later on.

To assist in this area there are some websites dedicated to ex Jehovah’s Witnesses "meet ups". This is where arrangements are made to meet up at a given time and those who attend can get to know each other. These "meetups" may not always be well attended thereby rendering them insufficient for fellowship and encouragement.

Interestingly, there seems to be very few websites catering specifically for ex witnesses wishing to meet or date. In stark contract, even active Jehovah’s Witnesses have access to their own dating sites which allow them to correspond with other witnesses across the globe!

Many ex witnesses have expressed the fact that there is a need for a forum that allows former Jehovah’s witnesses from around the world to be able to communicate and/or date each other.

An interesting comment that struck me as I was visiting the forums was this one. “…. Honestly, I have recently thought that if a relationship is going to work for me, it will have to be one with a fellow EX JW, because only someone else who has been through what I have will be able to relate to me. “

Isn’t that statement so true!

Imagine having access to people just like you from around the world.