There is no doubt that "The Secret" has been sweeping in the nation. There's also no doubt that everyone seems to be affected by it. In one way or at the other you probably are affected by The Secret. You have either seen for yourself or you know someone who has seen it. What I have found in working with my clientele is that most of them are also becoming confused by the things that the movie doesn't tell you about.

But I believe it is one thing to follow the guidelines of the secret and create exactly what it is that you want but another thing entirely when it comes to actually working with it. I'm constantly being asked how come it's not working? And perhaps you're one of those people that knows there is something wrong in your life and want to change for the better. That's why the movie speaks to you the way that it does. But you also may recognize that despite your best intentions you just can't make it work.

Also, the movie has caused some to become very concerned when they have a negative thought and then they're petrified that the thought is going to come true. So how is it that we can overcome not only our negative thoughts, but our fear that those thoughts will not be created?

First, relax. You have to give yourself permission to have a negative thought. When you begin to "freak out" over your negative thoughts you're just going to be creating more power to that thought. It's like laughing in church… the more you try to stop, the louder and harder it becomes. The one thing that your negative thoughts need is energy and intent. If you don't put that behind your thoughts then you've got nothing. You also have the luxury of time on your side. That is the one thing that the secret says. It will take time to manifest what it is that you want. This is like a safety mechanism where you have time to rethink your thoughts. If they are not the kind of thought that will serve you then you'll be able to change it. I remember that I had a client who was so worried one time that she caused the death of her cat. She said that she moved into an apartment where there was a busy street out front and she was constantly worried that her cat was going to run out and traffic. One day it escaped out of the door and into the street where unfortunately, Mr. Whiskers was hit by a car. She was so stressed that she caused her cat to become injured. These are the types of things that we are becoming worried about despite positive intentions of the movie. And it's worse with even the smaller things. Clients are so worried and concerned that they are going to cause every bad thought that comes to them. I'm talking seriously scared!

If this is you, give yourself a break. Allow yourself to monitor your thoughts and when you find yourself thinking a negative thought, stop it and correct it. That's the beauty of feelings. They are road markers. If you're feeling bad, change the thought…if you're feeling good, keep doing that.

So then this leads to the other questions that I get. “Well how do we change our thoughts to feel good?” The thing is that the more that you pay attention to your bad thoughts the more that they are going to continue to come up. And then you worry that your bad thoughts are going to create bad conditions and you worry that you won't be able to stop that. And it just goes round and round. Now I know what I'm getting ready to tell you will go against everything that you have been taught but hang on….here we go….this is it…..allow your bad thoughts to come. Let them be there. As soon as the screaming stops, you can read on.

So let me guess what thoughts are going through your head now. “I can't possibly do that!” “But if I do that then everything will come true.” “How can that possibly work??” Well just hold on for a moment and I will tell you. The thing is, we are often taught that if we shove our bad thoughts out of the way or push them down and ignore them then they will go away. And most of you have probably been doing that. You are a survivor. You rise above the challenge and bad thoughts and carry on. Because you're strong and can handle anything, Right? Well let me ask you a question in the words of Dr. Phil. “How's that workin' for ya?” I think that it's safe to say that if it were working, then you wouldn't be reading this and you would already have everything it is that you want. You also wouldn't be facing frustration over how this secret stuff isn't working. And you wouldn't be facing the same old things over and over again.

Do you:

*Continue to work at the same old job and not getting the satisfaction from it that you once did?

*Find yourself in the same types of relationships? Attract the same type of person to your life and then after the break up say to yourself, “Well, I did it again”

*Start your day motivated only to end up at the end frustrated and exhausted?

Anyone of the above can help to define whether your life is working the way that you want it to or not. To help you find out where you're at, start asking yourself different questions. The right questions. What do I mean by “right” questions? Often times we ask ourselves so many negative and damaging questions which can include:

Why does this keep happening?

Why can't I seem to move past this?

Why do I keep attracting the same type of guy (or girl)?

And here is a biggie…

What's wrong with me?

What if you decided to shift your focus a little bit and asked yourself some beneficial questions?

How do I keep this from happening again?

How do I move past this situation?

What type of guy (or girl) do I want?

What's “right” with me?

When you begin to ask yourself more positive question then your mind will automatically begin to move in the direction of getting you the answer. Instead of finding what is wrong with you, your mind will serve you to find out all of the things that are right with you.

This is a great place to begin. In future articles I will discuss more ways of how your mind works and instead of working against you. You can work in an effortless way so that it doesn't seem like “work” at all.

So, begin by directing your mind to the answers that serve you. It is only going to work with what you put in it. If you feed it bad thoughts and negative energy then that is exactly what you are going to get back.

Next: How to take those negative thoughts and wash them away so that thinking positively will become effortless.