I woke up screaming, frightened and alone...

... and was overcome by this wave of feeling that surged through my whole being as I turned over only to find my partner wasn't there to give me the hug of reassurance I so badly needed at that time. Of course at some level I already knew he had arranged to go and sleep over at his mother's place that night, but the fact that he just wasn't available when I really needed him, triggered something in me ...

... deep hurts from the past.

I came from a background of alcoholism in the family and a highly strung overworked and overstressed mother. I soon adopted the role of 'parental caretaker'. My needs came last and often didn't get met at all. It was a Love-Pain connection where I was left longing for a love that never came

It is interesting that I am also suffering from osteoarthritis in my hip which recently 'flared up' as if to flag that there was something that needed my urgent attention. There was more than one way of responding to this.

I could of course take the path of pain management and start a course of pain relieving medications - and for the first few days I did as an emergency measure. But also I believe that all pain has an underlying cause that, once addressed can remove the need for pain to manifest at all.

This meant bringing all of my focus to the hip and asking at a deeper level the question 'Where does it hurt?'

You see, pain has different levels. The first line of defence against this 'attack' of excruciating pain in my hip was to seek the doctor's advice and get some relief as soon as possible. His diagnosis came from asking "where does it hurt?" and in immediate response?'I indicated the right hip area and all around where there was some referred pain such as deep in the inner thigh, around the outside of the knee and including lower back ache where the back had been taking some of the strain. His examination involved moving and rotating my leg and waiting for the 'ouch'. The whole focus was physical and focused on outward symptoms and resulted in prescribed medication, physiotherapy and a referral to orthopaedics for further investigation.

As a Journey Practitioner, Therapeutic Counsellor and EFT Specialist on the other hand I also addressed the pain at a different and deeper level, beyond what was immediately manifesting. I turned my focus to listening to my 'body wisdom'. In answer to the question,"where does it hurt?"?' my 'hip' let me know there was an issue of 'feeling unsupported' and that in order to move on or step forward in my life this issue needed to be let go of and resolved once and for all.

Through the use of deep inner reflection and focus work, creative visualisation and some energy healing I found myself opening to a place of peace and deep inner support as I let go of the hurts of the past that I had seemingly stored in my hip. As a result the pain in the hip started to dissolve and I was able to start walking around much more comfortably and without the use of any painkillers.

My nightmare, in relation to all of this then made much better sense. It had in fact been a 'clearing out' process, almost like a last 'whoosh!The normal, healthy flow of energy in my body had been interrupted or blocked by the past emotional 'baggage' which had accumulated over the years and this had finally been loosened and the way opened for the natural life enhancing flow to operate freely once more.