If there is one subject that rips at a mothers or fathers heart it is the issue of custody. Sorting out who gets custody and visitation is unique in every case. There is no exact roadmap to follow, but there are standards and principles you will want to go on to insure that your children receive the best possible outcome.



I often hear people discuss custody, when they are at the water cooler, but they have no idea what the meaning of the word is. Is it any wonder then that people are so confused and scared about this? So let’s determine what we are really saying here. There are two types of custody that the court considers:

•Legal Custody – The right to make decisions regarding education, medical care, dental care, and religion..

•Physical Custody – Parents rights regarding where a child will live.

“Joint" Legal or Physical Custody is the term used when both parents are granted the same rights. Keep in mind that the child's living arrangement doesn’t need to be an equal split for a parent to enjoy this right.

It doesn’t matter which type of Legal and Physical Custody (sole or joint) are ordered the child visitation schedule needs to be worked out. Read that again then come back. What most people are talking about is the visitation schedule (also known as a parenting plan) but that isn’t custody. While custody does have specific legal rights, parents almost always have the right to visitation with their child.

One thing first. If the parents can make an agreement, they can write it up and the judge will likely accept it “as is" and simply record it, because it meets the needs of all parties and judges don’t want to interfere if it isn’t required. But, if the parents can’t reach an agreement, the judge considers how much visitation time a parent will receive, and is guided by the “best interests of the child." Here is where you get do your homework and truly build your case. If the child is an infant and the mother breast feeds, fathers’ visitation is likely to be short daytime visits.If one parent lives out of state, the visits are likely to be holidays and summers. If the parents live near to each other, the child is in good health, 7 or 8 years of age or older, and both parents work normal schedules, it is very,extremely likely that an nearly equal schedule can be reached. By this point you should be seeing some patterns emerging.

Lastly, let’s look at how the child’s wishes affect the outcome. It is not true that if a child is 12 the court will do what they want. There is no wonderous age and no guarantees. When the courts interview the child, they do so in private. What the child says is kept secret and is not distributed with anyone. The court will take into account the situation of both parents, the age of the child and how grown up they are, and what the effects of the child’s wishes would have on the relationships of the child with both parents.

You can realize that there are many factors that the court must understand before making a ruling. There are no “hard and fast" rules and no one can forecast the ending. But you can put forth a reasonable argument based on your circumstances if you know what the court is looking to accomplish.