You used to look at them with disdain; in the grocery store, at family gatherings, at church, in restaurants-"little monsters", you called them-children with no manners. You looked at the parents with pity, shaking your head, knowing it was all their fault, that they created these little Frankensteins. And, let's face it, you felt superior, in those days before you had kids-you just knew, your kids would be different, well-behaved and courteous-you'd be a better parent. And now, you have a little one of your own, who's growing through toddlerhood, approaching that age when your success as an etiquette teacher will be visible to all the world. Or not.



Don't panic-yet. It may seem unfashionable these days, but you can raise a child with manners. But it helps, if you start when your child is still young.

According to Ladies? Home Journal (www.lhj.com) , manners and respect go hand-in-hand; if you teach your child respect for others-particularly you and other adults-your chances of raising a little monster decrease dramatically.

You can begin with simple lessons, such as not interrupting adult conversations, unless there's a serious problem. "Yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am" are phrases which have lately fallen into disuse, but which can help to teach a child respect for you and your friends.

"Please" and "thank you" are simple and easy to teach-when your toddler wants milk, repeat the phrase "May I have some milk, please?", as you pour it. Then, as you hand it to him, say "Thank you". Then, when interacting with friends or relatives, remind him, gently, of what he's been taught; praise him when he remembers, all by himself. Your praise and the shocked attention of your friends will be a reward he'll want to re-experience, whenever he has the chance.

Learning to share is another step on the road to good manners. When your child plays with friends or siblings, teach him that sharing can earn respect and cement lasting friendships.

Responsibility, taught in small doses, will also provide lessons that will last forever. When your child finishes playing, help him clean up his toys until he does it, automatically, by himself; he'll learn respect for his surroundings and belongings, as well as your desires.

Don't expect perfection. Part of a child's development is learning his boundaries-he'll resist, at times. Rather than losing your temper, patiently remind him what kind of behavior you expect. Ignoring tantrums is the easiest way to end them. Then, eliminating priveledges will help him to realize the cost of unacceptable behavior.

Be sure to set an example for your child. Many adults today mistakenly believe that we live in a world in which politeness is a sign of weakness. Many TV reality shows today enforce the belief that "nice guys" really do finish last, and many parents are afraid of raising wimps. But there's no reason a child can't be raised to be confident and self-reliant, as well as polite.

You'll be the envy of your peers, if your child stands out from the crowd of little Frankensteins, all around you. You might even start a trend. Imagine what the world would be like, if the next generation based its social interactions on good manners and politeness.