While buying some cologne for her mother, a friend of mine related that she had very nearly concluded the purchase when she revealed in conversation to the salesclerk that her mother was in the hospital. It seemed the mother had a very serious illness, but was expected to make a complete recovery. The daughter thought that a gift of her favorite scent would cheer her up more than the traditional flowers or balloons.
"You shouldn't buy her favorite cologne," she was told sternly by the clerk. "She'll associate it the rest of her life with being sick. You'll ruin it for her forever."
Was the clerk right? That's hard to say, but prevailing wisdom is that we do tend to make strong and possibly illogical associations between smells and what's going on around us at the time, particularly if we're going through something emotional.
If you're around 50 years old, a whiff of Youth Dew or Heaven Scent will send you right back to high school.
Men or women who wear a strong and consistent fragrance get associated with that scent. Many of us remember a grandmother who wore a citrus cologne or a school teacher who wore some floral fragrance. A friend of mine loves the smell of Angel by Thierry Mugler because it "smells like my girlfriend." Here the transfer is complete: his girlfriend does not wear the scent nor does she smell like Angel because she wears it. Instead, Angel smells like her.
Why are we so quick to associate smells with times, places, and people but not visual stimuli (like colors) or sounds or even flavors?
Despite the fact that human beings have always had noses and an active olfactory life, we know surprisingly little about the world of smells. We don't even understand physiologically how smelling is even possible. (There are two theories circulating but no one knows definitively.) What we do know is that the human nose can differentiate about 10,000 different scents and that the portion of the brain that processes smelly information is very close to the long-term memory section of the brain.
However, brain activity is far too complex for such a simple approach (smell and memory are near each other in the brain, so they're near each other in our thoughts). But it is true that we have a very powerful ability to keep scents in memory.
Musician Garth Brooks once said that catching a sudden, unexpected whiff of a particular perfume was all that it took for him to be emotionally transported back to a different time and place in his life. We all experience that. It's peculiar because there is no conscious memory of the scent. The scent suddenly invades our nostrils and a whole avalanche of memories tumble out: old friends, a past time in life, situations, emotional states.
Scent is perhaps the "wildest" of our human senses. We don't truly understand it. Animals use it to hunt and to recognize friend, foe, and potential mates. Humans mostly ignore it or bottle it as an artifice.
But just as a whiff of a predator can send an animal into a panic, scents have powerful primordial connections in our brains as well.
Perfumistas are people who are inordinately involved and attracted to fragrances. Most of them will tell you that the joy of perfume is not something logical. It defies explanation, yet it is strong and vibrant. We feel an emotional release with some scents, a fond remembrance with another, and a provocative haunting with a third.
Should you buy a sick person her favorite perfume? Let's say your best friend gets fired. If you got her some perfume to cheer her up, would that be a good idea, or would it just taint that scent forever after as the smell of getting fired? Will a man who gets dumped hate the cologne of his former girlfriend forever?
Surprisingly, my own experience tells me that it is not so much the actual experience that colors our fragrance association, it is the state of mind we're in as we experience it. It's almost like perfume can "freeze frame" an emotional snapshot of us at a given moment and store it into our memory.
A hospitalized person who feels grateful and happy and well on the road to recovery can easily manage to use her old favorite scent and not damage her olfactory memory bank. A friend who gets fired but uses the event to change her life for the better may be inspired by the perfume that she used at that time. It may be used later in life as a confidence-builder. Likewise, a man may well remember the last woman in his life who wore a particular scent but if he is not bitter or angry about the break-up, he may come away with a sincere appreciation or fondness for the scent.
Scents happen. People who love perfume should keep using and cherishing the fragrances they like, and just let life fill in the gaps in the way that it wants. Now it so happens that a once-beloved scent can be ruined for us by sheer circumstance, but then again, it is not unusual for a mediocre scent to rise wildly in our esteem when colored by pleasant associations.
Love And Memories Video
This is an amazing story. It's about my friend Robert. Robert is one of those really charismatic people. You know the kind I mean. Wherever he goes, people are just drawn to him, its truly a sight to behold.
At dinner the other night, Robert's charm drew the waiters in and they conversed with him a great deal. However, when I spoke up, the waiters didn't seem to pay much attention. They may have even been a little dismissive. It was as if the only person at the table was Robert. The difference was Robert's charisma. He has that special way about him that we all sometimes wished we had.
Anyway, in order to find out what that special something was, I decided to interview Robert. I captured about 2 hours worth of questions and answers with him.
Here is what I found out. Robert basically, though he might not say this directly, 'loves' people when he talks to them.
He has genuine concern and positive regard. He likes to focus in on one thing that he finds especially interesting about a person when he talks to them. It doesn't matter if he tells the person what that thing is or not, it seems to have the same effect. Try it and see what happens.
Now, how does that relate to health? Well you see, my article on the mind-body connection discusses the principle that Bernie Siegel wrote about in his book, Love, Medicine and Miracles. It seems that when his cancer patients revolutionized their thinking to become more loving and accepting of others, their cancer often went into remission.
You see, what Robert does with people, is love them when he talks to them. Keep in mind that love is an action, it is not an idea that sits there, it is active. Bernie's cancer patients loved those around them more and as a result their health improved.
Now do you see the connection between charisma, love and health? By loving others, not only can your health improve, but your social life improves as well.
So what are you waiting for? Start looking for ways to love others more and watch your life improve in every aspect. This could be the most important thing you'll read today. Why not share it with a friend?
This article is for information purposes only. If you have or think you have a health problem, visit your doctor for diagnoses and treatment.
Both Joanna Mclaughlin & Mary Bush are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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