There are all kinds of instances when we can feel jealousy. Perhaps you are at the bar and you see your boyfriend talking to another woman. Or maybe your date is openly staring at a beautiful girl across the room. Maybe he even cheated on you and you found out.



No matter how it happens, jealousy is not fun. Whether your jealousy is reasonable or not, it makes you FEEL all kinds of negative emotions, like hurt, anger, resentment - even reproach and disgust.

There are basically 2 kinds of jealousy. Jealousy that is reasonable and founded is an actual event is one kind. The other kind of jealousy is groundless - this is like if you get upset that he ran into his ex-wife at the grocery store or he casually mentions something that happened with an old flame years ago.

The reasonable kind of jealousy - for you - is a sign that something is not right in your relationship. When you feel jealousy over him cheating on you - that is of course completely normal. But what it is screaming at you is that you have something HUGE in your relationship that you and your beau need to work on with each other. If he won't work on it WITH you - then you need to walk away.

Essentially what those feelings mean is that you are ANGRY that he is not treating you right. His treatment of you and your own self integrity are at war with each other. And if he is treating you in a way that makes your own integrity have to compete with something else - then he is NOT good enough for you.

Now the second kind of jealousy is jealousy about things in the past, or inconsequential things. First of all - EVERYONE HAS A PAST. Including you. If you are jealous over things that happened in the past with your man, then that is a problem YOU need to work on and get rid of.

In cases like this, your emotions are sending up a signal to your brain that all is not well within you. These are signs of emotional insecurity and fear. This is when you need to stop what you are doing and take a look inside to see what the true root of this jealousy is. Perhaps you have been hurt before and are acting defensively, or perhaps you are afraid of the unknown.

Sometimes, women even get jealous about things that have not even occurred. Say for instance you see your man talking to a co-worker at a party and they are laughing and having a good time. This is another emotional response to fear and insecurity. You need to look at what HE is doing and tell yourself, "It IS what it IS. Nothing."

When jealousy is founded in legitimate emotion - it means that something needs corrected quickly within your relationship. If you are becoming jealous over insignificant things, then you need to do a self-check, and correct the things within yourself that are out of balance.