Hemorrhoids are one of the most comically funny yet painful ailments around. Granted, it's not funny when you're the one suffering it - though everyone else will often get a good chuckle at your expense. Hemorrhoids happen when the veins in your anus swell up as a result of blood blockages in the hemorrhoidal complex of the anus. In layman's terms, veins in your butt hole swell up badly and become sensitive to pressure. In bad cases these veins actually swell up enough to stick out of your butt hole, making the process of sitting down painful. Heck, it makes walking painful if your butt cheeks rub against those veins. So, to avoid the pain and to avoid giving your wife, kids, work associates, and friends an excuse to heckle you mercilessly over it, you should look into trying out these common remedies for hemorrhoids. Your life won't depend on it, but your dignity might...



An ounce of Prevention...

In case you're lucky enough to have only a mild case of hemorrhoids you should know some of the most common causes of it so you can take steps to keep it from getting worse. Constipation is a primary culprit, so if you have a tough time on the toilet bowl you should really consider fixing your diet up a bit and drinking more fluids. Diarrhea is likewise another factor that causes hemorrhoids. So whether it's too much or too little output from your anus, fix it up bub! Another common cause is physical - prolonged periods of sitting and especially squatting down, or heavy lifting (which usually makes you clench your butt cheek muscles in sympathy with the other muscles in your body) are both causes of hemorrhoids. If either of these ring a bell in your head, you know what to do.

Modern Fixes

Modern treatments for hemorrhoids include medicinal ointments to soothe the inflammated veins or using hot or cold compresses to bring down the swelling. These are household fixes that anyone can do. In severe cases however and usually as a last option remedy for hemorrhoids is to have the veins surgically operated on to either tie them off or remove them completely. Not exactly a very pleasant thing to consider, but some people figure it worth the relief from pain. Conventional medicinal ointments aside, there are also "butt plugs", which are soluble lubricated medical pills designed to be stuck up the butt to heal hemorrhoids. As much as this is a valid medical procedure, just make sure no one else is around when you do this or you'll never live it down.

Traditional Fixes

One odd but effective traditional remedy for hemorrhoids includes placing a teaspoon of alum in a glass of water and applying it to the swelling. Another one uses 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar mixed with water to be drunk at every meal to stop bleeding hemorrhoids. Eating cranberries or drinking cranberry juice is also very good for preventing hemorrhoids. Iodine is also very good at getting immediate hemorrhoid relief. Coating the affected area with iodine brings down swelling very quickly. However, it stings... Lastly, general lubricant ointments like vaseline are good for getting gentle relief from hemorrhoids. It doesn't stop them outright, but at least it makes the pain more tolerable while you wait for the swelling to subside naturally or look for your other medication.