Confession: I have often fantasized about my wedding—secretly planning every intricate detail in my mind, from the selection of my maid of honor and wedding line, to the colors of my bridesmaids' dresses and the exact look of my wedding gown. Yet, I am not alone in this – Doesn't every girl dream about her ideal wedding? Doesn't every girl, upon seeing a wedding dress that tickles her fancy, pause for a moment and picture herself wearing that wedding dress? Draped in robes of opalescent white, she, feeling akin to a princess, anticipates the reaction of her beloved groom as she approaches the altar.

Recently, an old room-mate of mine announced her engagement. She is getting married March 20th—the first day of Spring. How perfect! As new life is springing and sprouting forth, Amy will be starting her new life as a “Mrs.” Immediately, we, her former room-mates and good friends, had visions of 5'0” Amy prancing about in an elegant white wedding gown. This weekend, she showed us pictures of the dress she is considering purchasing for her Spring wedding day. The dress—with a modest neckline, capped sleeves, a flaring A-line skirt coupled with a foot-long train, and modest beading looks lovely. It is a modest wedding gown that is elegant and beautiful. The white satin looks exquisite next to Amy's semi-olive complexion and green-flecked eyes. And dress perfectly fits her delicate frame. Amy especially loves how the dress “elongates her”. It makes me look taller… says the 5'0” bride-to-be. Truly, Amy's dress is proof that a modest wedding gown can be and is, indeed, an elegant, tasteful, and beautiful wedding gown. She looks heavenly in that dress. We, her giggling girlfriends, are eagerly anticipating seeing her wear it on her wedding day. (As I'm sure her fiancée is, as well!) Amy, in her dress, is a stunning vision in white.

Notwithstanding the profound influence popular icons have on societal views, particularly with regard to fashion trends and even customs, the idea of the so-called ideal wedding gown - the “I feel like a princess” wedding dress - was, perhaps, most heavily influenced by Queen Victoria, who, on her wedding day in 1840 to Prince Albert, wore a modest white dress complete with pearls, lace, a delicate flowing veil, and a satin train. Thus spawned the traditional white wedding dress we still favor today. Prior to the Victorian era, (which refers to the reign of Queen Victoria of England, which spanned an unprecedented 64 years), women rarely chose to wear white on her wedding day. In fact, the color of choice had long since been blue which was considered to be a reference to Mother Mary, and hence considered a symbol of purity, reverence, innocence, virtue, humility, grace, and, of course, virginity. On the other hand, white had been a symbol of wealth and status. Therefore, when Queen Victoria appeared on her wedding day in a modest wedding gown that was white, her decision caused a bit of a spectacle. In causing a spectacle, however, she set a standard that has spanned two centuries.

“Since white wasn't generally chosen as the color in which to be married, Victoria's dress came as quite the surprise,” according to the Love-to-Know Corporation. “It wasn't an unpleasant surprise, however, because soon after women all over Europe and America began wearing white wedding dresses as well. […] By the turn of the century, white was the color of choice.” In fact, a book entitled Godey's Lady's Book, reflected this new precedent set by Queen Victoria nine years prior to its publication: “Custom has decided, that white is the most fitting hue, whatever may be the material. It is an emblem of the purity and innocence of girlhood, and the unsullied heart she now yields to the chosen one.” The following poem was also coined: “Married in white, you will have chosen all right. Married in grey, you will go far away. Married in black, you will wish yourself back. Married in red, you'll wish yourself dead. Married in blue, you will always be true. Married in pearl, you'll live in a whirl. Married in green, ashamed to be seen, Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow. Married in brown, you'll live out of town. Married in pink, your spirits will sink.”

Since the Victoria era, the traditional white wedding dress has evolved over time. While common threads still remain, styles have often changed. Recent examples include actress-turned princess, Grace Kelly, and Lady Diana, the late Princess of Wales. Diana, in her 1981 marriage to Prince Charles wore an elaborate dress complete with puffed sleeves, ruffles, and an 11' long train. Diana's dress, like Grace's wedding grown, was elaborate and ornate thus influencing much of the fashion in both Europe and the United States. The 1980s saw many dresses designed with ruffles, frills, and especially “poofy sleeves”. While ornamentation and extravagance were the emphasis several decades ago, wedding gowns now emphasize sophistication with simple yet elegant designs. And while an increasing number of wedding dresses are becoming less formal, the long-standing tradition of modesty in wedding dresses continue to reflect timeless elegance and sense of class. Regardless, of what material is used to make a wedding gown, and regardless of what style it reflects—whether it has an empire waist, capped sleeves, a lengthy train, is satin, has ribbons—modesty does not require that a bride sacrifice her own personal sense of style, flair, or personality, rather it emphasizes her own unique tastes while portraying a sense of elegance and timeless beauty. Furthermore, it exemplifies the sacredness of the wedding ceremony, the strength and depth of the commitment, and symbolizes all that marriage symbolizes—virtue, character, honesty, integrity, trust, purity. A wedding is, single-handily, the most important ritual, ceremony, and event in a person's life. It is fundamental in any society—the union between a man and woman. Thusly, to dress as if we were going to the prom hardly seems fitting of such a highly cherished and celebrated event as one's wedding day. Hence, the much preferred modest wedding gowns are still more highly favored than the occasional casual “beach wedding” dress we see in some fashion magazines. With a modest cut, the bride may not be showing much skin, but she will still most certainly be regarded as beautiful and attractive to her groom. As my soon-to-be married friend, Amy, put it, when she went hunting for the wedding dress of her dreams: “Sometimes less is more”. With capped sleeves, a neckline that comes within inches of her collarbone, an A-line skirt that falls to the floor (and swishes with her every move), coupled with pure white satin, and light beading on the train. It is a modest wedding gown, but it is most definitely elegant. She looks like a princess. She is a beautiful vision in white. She is the envy of all her friends. And what bride could ask for more?