We all think differently, we all have our own unique perspective of the world and put completely different meanings from one another, to everything that happens around us, to conversations that we have, to things we pick up in the news etc. In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) terms, 'the map is not the territory'. None of us think about any situation in exactly the same way. This is because we all have our own unique values, beliefs and needs.



The iceberg, used in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, represents how our results are driven by our behaviours which are derived from our emotions which are created by our thoughts. Therefore what we achieve is driven by what we think.

Basically this means that in order to change someone's results, we need to dive beneath the surface and change the way they think. Most managers tend to float on the surface and concentrate on the performance itself. This usually results in a directive or advisory approach. When you understand how the brain works then you will understand why these traditional approaches are ineffective long term.

When you understand that everybody has a different perspective of the world, then it would follow that what is right for one person isn't necessarily right for another. Think about this the next time you want to offer your advice to somebody. Yes it may be good advice for you, and it may be what you would do in that situation, but is it right for them?

Assignment

Start taking note of conversations over the next month, conversations that you have at home or work or with friends, but also other peoples conversations (honestly, you are not being nosey, you just have a genuine interest in people!)

Note how often people are not always talking about the same thing even though they think they are. Listen to how people's opinions differ. Notice how people get frustrated when they can't get their point across or the other person doesn't quite get it. How often do people give, a 'whatever' answer and just quit trying to explain? How often do people give their advice only to have it shrugged off? How often do you receive advice that falls on deaf ears? You will start to smile to yourself as you notice different points of view on the same subject, or different meanings assigned to the same conversation.

Take your time to do this assignment as it will really help you understand the concept of The Silent Motivator System.