Have you ever noticed how uncomfortable you feel when you do something for the first time? Remember your first day at school, the first time you rode a bike or even your first day at a new job? I just recently moved 1800 miles from Denver to New York, leaving my full-time practice to start over again in a strange city. Change can be scary and that is why people avoid it so much. The reason you tend to cling to the familiar because it gives you a sense of security.



It isn't your fault. This is just the way your subconscious mind works. It resists change because your inner mind has a plan set for everything that is familiar. When you move out of your comfort zone, it sends alarms to bring you back to your old way of being. That is why it is so hard to lose weight, stop smoking, change careers, or leave someone who is not good for you, even when you consciously know it would be better. Your subconscious is not logical and attempt to return to the status quo because that is what it is designed to do. It is easy to just allow your inner mind to control your life. To overcome the urges and move away from the familiar can be a challenge.

When you move out of the familiar, tension builds in your body. If you give into fear and retreat, the subconscious has won again. You slip back into autopilot, but you still wish there was a way out of the trap you put yourself in. It isn't that your subconscious is evil, this part of your mind simply repeats what you previously programmed it to do. Unfortunately, many of those programs were created when you were younger than ten and the logic for them is no longer valid. The biggest mistake that most people make is to perceive the tension as a bad thing and wanting to run away from it.

To move through change with grace, the uncomfortable feelings can be reframed in your mind as positive. When life starts to feel awkward and scary, it just means you are moving beyond the box that you made for yourself. The more at peace you can be with those awkward moments, the stronger you become and less affected by change. Ultimately, you will feel a sense of personal power increase and the willingness to tackle any obstacle.

Your sense of peace is not determined by external circumstances but how you feel about what is happening to you. Nervousness before a first date can be transformed into excitement of meeting someone new. The discomfort the first few days after quitting smoking can be interpreted as you finally resisting the need to soothe yourself with poison. The more you expand into new experiences, the easier it becomes to be invincible in anything in life.

The next time you start to feel uncomfortable, remember to smile and pat yourself on the back for your bravery. You can channel the feeling of fear into excitement, just like you have before going on a big roller coaster. After all, life supposed to be a wonderful ride!